Hope is not a plan. Tips for Marriage – Are You Compatible?
How many times have you dated someone and you weren’t compatible? Or you were compatible in some ways and not in others? As you know being compatible is important or else all you do is disagree, argue and complain. And who wants to be spend their life doing that? Nobody! It seems then the ‘are you compatible’ question is a valid one. Naturally, there are levels of compatibility to consider; some things are more important than others. For example, if you don’t agree on whether you both like bike riding, this won’t make or break the relationship. On the other hand, if one of you wants children and the other doesn’t, this will definitely be a make it or break it issue.
As you can see the level of the compatibility issue is what you need to look at. How important is it? Another area that most people should agree on is religion. If both of you are Christians then there’s no problem; however, if one person is into devil worship and the other worships Christ there’s going to be a big problem. Even small differences in spirituality can create some pretty big gaps in a relationship.
Some other areas of concern are finances, communication, goals, lifestyle, friends, and family to name a few. These areas all need to be worked out BEFORE you get married so that you don’t end up divorced like the other 50% of Americans do. If you’re not compatible on big issues then it may not be wise to marry that person. However, if they’re insignificant and can be worked out then that’s a different story. After all, marriage is supposed to last a lifetime so it would make sense to have a really good idea of what’s acceptable to you in the relationship and what isn’t.
One of the major problems is that couples fall in lust and not love and this usually doesn’t work, due to decisions being made that are mostly based on feelings or emotion and not logic. They do not think things through or use wisdom and consequently have serious problems down the road. Problems that sometimes lead to destruction of the family and end in hatred for one another. For this reason, you need to make sure you’re compatible in other ways than just physical attraction.
One of the best ways to make sure of this is to take your time and not rush into marriage. There’s nothing wrong with a long engagement. Without a doubt, it’s much easier to break off an engagement than to get a divorce. After all, if it’s real love you won’t mind the wait, one of the characteristics of love is patience. Finally, if one of you is in a hurry that’s a sign you really need to wait.