Do you hear me? Are you listening? People are always asking us, how can they save their relationship. There is no easy approach by which everyone can follow, but there are ground rules. There are certain things you can do and if you’re listening you will learn the easiest way in how to save a relationship.
Developing your listening skills
Before you get started with developing your listening skills, you need to take your time to open yourself to what your partner is about to tell you. Whether you need to go for a walk, meditate, or take a smoke break go find your peace. Peace doesn’t mean acting calm. It means you need to dig deep and recognize the situation for what it is in the bigger picture you wish to see. It may take 5 minutes or 5 days; regardless this is the first step.
Now that you’re at peace, you’re ready to become the psychologist in the situation. Simple ask question and listen. You are the third party working to understand their perspective as best you can without defending your position. It’s almost as if your partner is speaking with someone else who isn’t wrapped up in the situation. I know, easier said than done right? Not really if you have established your peace and see this within the bigger picture.
Once you have taken in everything they have had to say, acknowledge it by repeating what they’ve said. This is reinforcing for them and adds clarity to your understanding about what they are experiencing.
Now that they have divulged their feelings, it’s your turn. Explain how your feeling, and what you’re thinking. Tell them about the bigger picture and explain in a sincere way, how it fits into the relationship. Whether they judge it as right or wrong, it grants clear picture into what is possible with your relationship if you understand where each other is coming from.