It’s time to say good-bye. Pain and heartache dominate our psyche as we begrudgingly concluded that our relationship is now over. Friend’s and family tell us, it just wasn’t meant to be and you deserve much better. But is it really over? Should you be looking for information on how to get your ex back instead? Understanding why your relationship is in question is the biggest part of fixing it. Was it because of the late night arguments about absolutely nothing? Or how about that time your partner said something incredibly hurtful? You will soon learn that how to fix a broken relationship has more to do with you than the other person. If you don’t want to read, but want to ask others like you how they fixed their broken relationship chat with them now.
Our relationship worked when we didn’t fight…
At some point, it became painfully clear that you were unable to stand some of the things your partner did, said or implied. Men exclaim, “How can she be so crazy!” whereas women remark,”How can he be such a jerk face not understanding my emotions?” Stereotypes aside, at some point those ideas popped into your mind. This is actually the process of self-discovery. This sounds strange right? Well, when you’re in these situations, you quickly realize something inside of you just won’t let the comment or behavior go. You heave with resentment and you let your partner have it. Somewhere deep inside, there’s a person who felt offended, rejected, threatened or embarrassed. This is what I’m calling a moment of self-discovery.
Caution: The Road to Recovery is Fraught with “potholes”
Depending on what was said or what was done during your process of self-discovery; it may or may not have been a deal breaker for you. That part is up to you to determine and being aware of your self-discovery is the first step. Assuming you have answered that question for yourself, it’s time to reflect and self-discover a little bit more. It’s time to think like a kid (please read that section on new relationship advice) and critically analyze your partner’s behavior and your reaction. Take your time in the analysis process, because if you decide to continue, it can mean the difference between success or more heartache and grief. Potholes lie ahead and this will only have a chance to work if you can see them coming.
How to fix a broken relationship when it’s no longer broken?
Depending on how broken your relationship is will govern your success in mending it and moving forward. Are you still communicating? Are you separated or still living together? These things will slightly change your approach, but in the end the approach to repair is the same. Stop seeing your relationship or situation as an obstacle, but instead as an opportunity for self-improvement regardless of the outcome. In the situation lie just below the surface a chance to build something better or perhaps build something different. There is no guarantee for success in getting back with someone, but looking at the situation from a higher perspective will prime you for success either way. Viewing things from this point of view, will minimize your need to be “right” when you decide to engage in fixing your situation.
Step 1 – Schedule a meeting: Things are better done in person. Psychology tells us that most 60% – 70% of communication is nonverbal in nature. Expressions and body language are tell-tale sign of sensing someone’s genuinity.
Step 2 – During your meeting listen: When you are meeting with your partner or ex-partner, remember this meeting is more about self-discovery first. Next it’s about fixing your broken relationship. Meet with the mindset that you are curious, want understanding/closure on the situation and peace. Curiosity leads to discovery and it demands that you listen 80% of the time and speak 20% of the time. During your conversation, you will encounter potholes which will be painful to run over. Just steer clear as best you can and quietly navigate around them and continue to listen. This is the only way you can attain the self-discovery and insight into how to fix a broken relationship. Be sure to ask how your partner feels and what they need as a person in their life. Focus on their perspective so they feel heard and understood.
Step 3 – Conclude the conversation: It’s important that when you conclude the conversation you leave thinking like a kid. No matter what was said or how hurt you feel inside. You have extending the olive branch and if they smack it out of your hand, you know you’ve dodged a bullet. Conversely, maybe you walk away together with a new appreciation of yourself and your partner. Nevertheless, this is the answer you need to discover if your relationship is really worth saving.
I understand that this advice might not have been what you were thinking or it might not work for you. This is a non-traditional approach to resolving conflict and your mileage may vary. It’s designed to get to the heart of the matter while you benefiting from the outcome regardless. If you are looking for a different approach, please reach out to us by downloading Clarapy on Android or iOS. It’s free and you can get expert advice from any of one on our team. If that approach doesn’t work, check out our relationship tips section for me info.