Is My Relationship Over? He Says He Wants A Break

What to Do When He Says He Wants A Break When There Seems To Be Nothing Wrong. Is My Relationship Over?

One of the most confusing moments in a relationship is when your boyfriend wants to break up with you, but there seems to be no direct reason why. Many times we can drive ourselves crazy in our attempts to figure out what it is we missed or did wrong. Sometimes we become paranoid about what secret cause may be out there.

We often look for someone we can blame for what is happening, because for there to be no answer seems wholly unreasonable to us. Instead of spending all your time stressing about why it is happening, you should instead be focusing on what you need to do to get the answers you want.

Take A Chill Pill

We often can become overwhelmed with emotion and thrown into a bit of a tizzy when the person we are with wants to break up. Instead of letting these initial emotions take control of us, allow your higher faculties take over for your uncontrollable emotional responses.

In other words, attempt to take a deep break, listen carefully to what he is saying and then ask formulate the appropriate questions to get the answers that you want. If you freak out and begin to cry or throw a fit, then you will only shut down the conversation. By keeping a cool head and listening to what he is specifically saying you may be able to ask the questions that get you the answers you desire.

Keep the Conversation Going

If he is dumping you with any specific reasoning, it is best you keep him talking in order to figure out what the reason is. It is alright to ask him specific questions, but if you ask the wrong questions then he may simply shut down and not wish to talk anymore. To avoid scaring him away, attempt to let him know that you are confused and that you wish there was some explanation for what was happening.

Give him the opportunity to explain the reasoning for wanting the break up. Sometimes one partner simply is under pressure and does not have a specific reason. Other times there are underlying reasons that he may not even be aware of at the moment. If you are able to keep him talking, then you may be able to find an answer to the question or even steer him away from wanting to break up.

Ask for a Reason, Then Demand One

It can take a little work but quite often you can get a reason for a break up if you ask enough times and in enough different ways. Whether it be hinting at him to explain what has happened, or it is just listing one-hundred and one reasons why the break up might be occurring, finding out the reason for the breakup is helpful to dealing with the situation. If he continually will not give a reason, then perhaps demanding a reason is your best option.

Remember that it is often very difficult to overcome a breakup quickly and in a healthy manner if you have no reason for it. Also, remember that by demanding a reason you may drive him away, so be careful in implementing a demanding tone. Still, it is your right as the person being dumped to ask for a reason. Even if the reason is not one you agree with, or one that hurts your feelings, it is better to have a reason you can point to instead of no reason at all.

Accept that It Has Happened

If the break up has already occurred and you are now single, one of the worst ways to keep a relationship together is to deny that break up had happened. If this sounds crazy to you, then consider yourself lucky, as there are many people who attempt to employ this strategy. Even if you are not one of the many who literally stays in denial about a break up because “There was no reason for it and so it isn’t over,” you may still suffer from denial in another way.

Many of us will not let ourselves go through the grieving period of a relationship if we do not have a reason that it happened. Not having a reason means we have a hard time wrapping our head around what occurred. This can cause us weeks, months, even years’ worth of not truly dealing with the problem.

Not being able to move on means not being able to form positive future relationships. So take the time to accept what has happened, even if your goal is to reconnect with him in the future.

Let It Go

By far the most difficult but most necessary ability after a “reasonless” breakup is letting it go. Since you do not know a cause or a reason this can be unbearably difficult; however, it is a necessary step in being able to move forward and have a positive relationship in the future, and so you must do it. There is no magic potion that makes one let go of what has happened, but accepting it and then letting yourself grieve over the loss is usually the best way to progress past it.

Learn From the Break Up

It is a hard lesson in life, but finding out that you can be broken up with for no reason is still a life lesson. No matter how much time and effort you put into something, it can still go wrong. This is the nature of being in a relationship with someone. While it is a hard lesson to swallow, it is also an important one because it gives us an understanding that life is sometimes unfair and difficult. Not having a solid reason for being dumped also forces us to search for what it is about ourselves that may have partially lead to the break up. In allowing this thought process, we may be able to further positive qualities and lessen our negative ones.

So is your relationship really over?  Can it be saved?  Find out if you can save your relationship.


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Why Do Relationships Go Sour?

Why Do Relationships Go Sour?

Relationships take work. Fun work usually, but sometimes it is arduous work. Knowing how to fix a relationship with happy and hard work will ensure a long love life. A happy life is one lived in love. If you are in a relationship that needs fixing, here are some secrets that if followed, will put the sizzle back in your current fizzle.

The main reason relationships sour over time is that either one or both of the partners have neglected the special bond that exists between them. This is such an easy crime to commit against your relationship for two reasons: life is hectic and relationships take work. Knowing how to fix a relationship means giving time and energy.From the first date and every day thereafter, each person in the relationship has to make the decision to be in the relationship. Loving relationships need nurturing and support. There are some simple little everyday activities a partner can do for another partner that will go miles to keep love alive. Everyone these days has a cell phone and is quite savvy with text messaging. Have you ever thought it possible to save your relationship with a few text messages? Well, it is just that simple. Here we explain how your text messaging powers will heal any broken relationship at anytime.

WHAT SORT OF ‘WORK’ DOES A RELATIONSHIP NEED?

When we use the word ‘work’ to describe what a relationship needs, we are referring to the constant everyday gestures that keep love alive and fun. For instance, little unexpected phone calls just to say “I love you” or “you are gorgeous, by the way” and such can be all a woman or man need to feel free to fall deeply in love.This ‘work’ takes courage of the heart and mind. Falling in love is scary business for many people. When one partner takes the time to fully support the other partner’s sense of security in the relationship, a deep bond begins to form between the two. Once one partner begins this, the other partner can bath in the warm rays of the loving attention for a while. However, the other partner must also return the same affection-showering. Knowing how to fix a relationship means knowing how to show your love.

HOW TO HELP A RELATIONSHIP

If you are one of millions of people who want to know how to fix a relationship, take comfort. There is a way to fix every broken relationship. It only takes one person in the relationship to do the initial work of repair and mending hurt feelings. Remember, if you want to fix your relationship, you can neither blame yourself nor your partner for the damage done. All you can do is start quickly down the path of healing.Of course, every relationship is different because of the two people involved. If there were a quick fix cure for each relationship, we’d all be happily in love everyday. Only you know what your partner needs from you. You also know what you need from your partner and whether or not you are getting your needs met. Relationships take communication first and foremost.

Not just one or two deep conversations but constant daily conversations to stay on track. Most couples break up is often the result of a lack of communication, if you are serious to get back your ex with a better communication skill, you can find out more about in our ultimate secrets steps procedure that illustrate clearly how to get your ex back. This is a tried and proven system that improves not only relationship but also your communication with your partner.

Relationships bring out the most insecure and childish behavior in people because of the intensity of the feelings involved. Each person in the relationship is full of insecurities that are either just below the surface or hidden deep in their hearts. The responsibility of each person must be to communicate their honest and innermost truths to their partner. There is no other way to alleviate such potential relationship curses.

Communication doesn’t always mean having painful and embarrassing talks about troubles and worries. Real communication should be joyful, arousing and playful between two people to keep the love alive. Not only to keep the love alive but also to ignite the fire that can burn between two people for a lifetime. Tell your mate how much you adore him or her constantly. Give yourself and your soulmate the chance to feel like a teenager in love again you’re your own thrilling thoughts and words.If you want to learn how to fix a relationship, you’re about to find out. It is as close as your cell phone. If you have found yourself in such a rut, there’s a way out. You and your partner can be quickly back in love and start fresh with just the touch of your cell phone buttons. Be glad you live in the age of technology and have something as simple as a text message capability. It literally will save your relationship. If you think it’s too good to be true, you are in for a pleasant surprise. Your relationship can be saved with just a simple text message.


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Ways To Get Your Boyfriend Back

Ways To Get Your Boyfriend Back; Easy Does It

ways to get your boyfriend back
The best ways to get your boyfriend back

There are many ways to get your boyfriend back, some are more effective than others. One thing is clear, you know you want your boyfriend back; and for whatever reason you broke up you feel that it could still work out. Losing a relationship is tough, whatever the reason but it does not have to be the end. If things were meant to work out they will but having patience may be the key to solving your current relationship woes. The first of the ways to get your boyfriend back is going to be to look at if you really do want him back, or you’re just lonely for anyone. A former boyfriend can be a safe, secure, and comfortable haven that you have turned to many times in the past and wanting that secure feeling back is understandable, but is it really him you want or just that comfort. Was your relationship good enough that it really needs to be salvaged or are you looking at the good times without remembering how many fights and bad times there were?

Now that you have decided that you really do want them back it is time to look into actual ways to get your boyfriend back. Your boyfriend was obviously attracted to you at some point, so you have to remind him of this and make him remember why he wanted you in the first place. Think about how your behavior towards him has changed in the time your relationship lasted and try and go back to the beginning when you were still new and exciting. Be seductive. At the same time being new and exciting can also help jog his memory. Wearing new clothes, doing some things that are a little outside of your comfort zone, and generally making him think you are moving on will make him think about you as a person again and not necessarily as his ex.

Of all the ways to get your boyfriend back the one that is messed up the most if the initial contact after the break up. It might be too late for this, however it is also where many go wrong. If you start calling them the moment the words that “it’s over” are said they are unlikely to want to consider dating you again, in fact they may decide they never want to and run the other way. Even if he was the one who initiated the break up chances are he still has feelings for you. When you finally get to talk to each other it is important to remain calm and focused, asking general conversation questions may seem like avoiding the issue but as said before pushing will generally not get the desired results. Though it may seem frustrating one of the best ways to get your boyfriend back is simply to be patient.

boyfriend is back with me
My boyfriend is back with me

The third thing is finding out if he cares still before wasting any time and energy really going after them. If they still seem affectionate or interested it might be obvious, but if you are unsure just ask them how they feel about you. It is important that they don’t feel cornered so often putting this in an email or other written form will give them the space to respond when they are ready. The answer might initially be a no so be ready for that and as long as they are comfortable being friends consider going out for a friendly activity with no pressure. If they still say no you may need to back off and reevaluate if they are truly still interested. Take a little time to let things cool before trying again, and certainly don’t mention it every time you see each other.

If things just don’t seem to be going anywhere and he has made it clear that he has moved on then it may just not be your choice anymore. Sometimes relationships cannot be salvaged regardless of how many ways to get your boyfriend back that you try, but just remember to be patient.


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How To Rekindle A Relationship Like A Boss

How to Rekindle A Relationship With Oh-So-Passionate Intimacy With Your Partner

Relationships are cornerstones of human experiences. They can bring great pleasure to one’s life. But they are also quite challenging and difficult at times. The intimacy of a loving relationship can sometimes fade over time. This can happen for a multitude of reasons. So, it’s time to learn how to rekindle a relationship.

Knowing how to revive that lost or waning intimacy is important to ensure that a person and his or her loved one can continue life together in happiness. The marriage vows of “For richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health…” are not just words for those who are married to be honest. They are words that one should take to heart when they care for someone deeply. The thought of that commitment should push one to regain that intimacy that have lost along the road of a long relationship.

Be Honest About the Problem

How To Rekindle A Relationship Like A Boss
How To Rekindle A Relationship Like A Boss

If there is a lack of intimacy, it should be noted as soon as possible. There is no shame in being honest about the fact that a component of the relationship is missing. Being able to talk about problems of any type is an important part of a functioning relationship.

There is no worse sign for a relationship than the inability to be upfront and honest with one another. It is important that both can bring up the problem to the spouse. It is also important that they can bring up the problem to you. Perhaps he or she will be the one to notice that there is something lacking in the relationship. In that case, you must be equally as open to him/her feeling that something is lacking.

Do Not Make It Personal

When you decide to bring up the lack of intimacy, it is important not to act like it is your partners fault. Most people will naturally become defensive when you bring up that there is a lack of intimacy. That is because one often feels like a finger is being pointed at them as the root cause.

Make sure that you explain the feeling of a lack of intimacy, with love and with an understanding that part of the problem lies with you. A lack of intimacy often means a lack of connectivity. This is rarely a single person’s fault. Instead, it is the effect of busy schedules or loss of like-interests weighing on the relationship.

Reconnecting

Whether or not you decide to have the direct conversational approach, you must plan to find ways to reconnect with your partner. Most couples who lack intimacy do so because they have lost the sort of connection they had at the start of their relationship.

This can slowly happen over time as two people become too comfortable with one another. It can be almost as if you become more friends than intimate partners do. To counteract that progression, it may be best that you plan vacations, excursions, or adventures together. These do not have to be large events every time. A romantic dinner prepared by you, or a day-trip to your partner’s favorite type of music can be all it takes.

Think of What Makes Your Partner Swoon

how to rekindle a relationship
How to rekindle a relationship the right way.

Sure, you have been feeling the lack of intimacy just as much as your partner has. However, you are the person who has decided to be proactive about it. Someone has to make the first move, and this time it is you. So take the time to figure out what it is that will make your partner swoon. Remember what it is that you did to gain his or her affection in the first place.

By extending the courtesy to your partner, it shows that you care. Showing that you care can often lead to them reciprocating the affection. It really can be as simple as showing that you have not forgotten about your partner, to make them recharge their affection for you. So whether it is a trip they have always wanted to take, a music gala they adore, or a type of activity they have always tried to get you to do, give them what they want. You will be surprised how often that turns to a surge of intimacy later.

Push the Boundaries of the Comfort Zone

By comfort zone, what is meant is the day-to-day norm of how you and your partner interact. We can sometimes fall into a routine with our partners. When this occurs, there is almost an inevitable drop in intimacy. It is nobody’s fault, as life demands a particular routine from time to time. However, we must be willing to break out of the routine when intimacy is being sacrificed for too long. Find an activity or event that you and your partner have always talked about doing, but never did.

Look for ways you can invoke even a small amount of danger, fear, or adrenaline. Couples who enjoy these types of activities often have more vibrant relationships. You do not have to start by skydiving on the first day, nor do the activities have to literally scare you. All you are looking for is to increase the heart rate of the relationship. When the adrenaline flows, so too, can the passion. These should get the wheels a grinding for how to rekindle a relationship.


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Not In Love With Husband Anymore – What happened?

Options Explored – Not In Love With Husband Anymore

“I’m not in love with husband anymore”, the terse remark came from a young woman I chatted with, her tongue yoked firmly in cheek. Here was a woman facing a meltdown in her marriage and was remarkably upfront about it. But contrary to popular perception, it takes more than just in-your-face guts and gumption to tide over this hugely overwhelming situation.

For those of us that have grown up on a surfeit of apocryphal stories of fairytale romances, it’s hard to perceive marriage without those sepia-tinged glasses. It takes us a while to come to terms with the fact that a relationship is like a roller coaster that has ups and downs. While the good times envelope us in euphoria, we need to face the bad times with a lot of grit and fortitude. And separation is definitely not a plausible solution. not in love with husband anymore

If you are down in the dumps because there is no intimacy, communication or trust between you and your partner, you should not view these as the harbinger of gloom. During these turbulent times, it’s pretty natural for the wife’s imagination to go into overdrive, especially if there’s a yawning gap between their husband’s words and actions.

So do you press the panic button or should you chat with a therapist? Well, maybe it’s just your imagination that needs to be curbed.

Celebrate Everlasting Love

It’s not hard to find women that are constantly kvetching about the complete drought of love and passion in their lives. In the inflammatory times that we are living in, the insidious pressures of hectic lifestyles take a toll on everything, including love that we feel for our partners.

In discharging his duties as a son and father, may be his love for you has taken a backseat, but that does not mean that there’s no love at all. To add to your woes, all those amorous glances and gestures seem to have become a thing of the past.

But don’t be depressed; causing a complete reversal of fortunes is not well-neigh impossible. First, it’s important that you rework your entire attitude towards this marriage. If you expect him to shower you with compliments, shouldn’t you reciprocate? If the lack of intimacy is a huge issue with you, you can rest assured that he feels the same way too.

Once you set the ball rolling with your expansive exchanges and warm gestures, you are sure to feel loved and valued yourself. When the sizzling chemistry is back, you can work on setting aside all your misunderstandings and fears.

It’s important to act right now. Because tomorrow never comes and you can stop an imminent divorce.


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Amazing Tips to Get Your Ex Back

Great Tips to Get Your Ex Back

Aren’t you fed up of well-meaning friends who tell you to forget your ex and move on?  They just don’t understand how you feel, right?  Worst of all are the philosophical know-it-alls who say things like, “This is part of life, it happens to all of us, you’ll soon get over it,” or some other crap like that. Keep reading, we have some great tips to get your ex back.

What you want are some tips you can use to get your ex back.  Well, look no further.  I’m going to reveal some surefire tips that are time-tested and proven to get your ex back with you.

First of all, you should never go to pieces and cry or beg him or her to come back.  Using the old get-all-emotional-to-gain-sympathy tactic (for women) never works.  It will only drive your man further away from you because no one is attracted to a weakling.

Next, do not try to get back your ex by making him or her jealous.  Your ex can see through that in a moment and it will be looked upon as a cheap shot.  Worse still if your ex repays you tit-for-tat, it’s game over for the both of you.

The first thing you should do is agree with your ex about the break.  This gives you and your ex the time and space to settle down.  Just maintain your friendship but take a break from seeing each other for awhile.  Use the time you have to focus on yourself instead of on your ex.  When you focus on yourself, think of ways to change for the better.  It takes at least 3 weeks of consistent practice and action to develop a new habit, so use this time to develop some good ones.  This will stand you in good stead when you try to win back your ex later.

So think about your faults and character flaws.  We all have them.  Those that especially contributed to the breakup need to be thrown out.  You should also think about what changes you can make physically.  It may be your looks, your dressing, your lifestyle or behaviors.  In short, try to be the best person you can be.

Once you have effected some telling changes in your life, you can think about taking steps to get your ex back.  It starts with finding the opportunity to meet up.  But don’t make it a pressure on your ex to meet with you.  Find a casual occasion and ask him or her to join you in it.  For a start, it may even be in a group.  That’s fine, as long as you have a chance to interact.

After that initial contact, it gets easier to meet again.  Now ask your ex to meet up but just the two of you.  Again, it should be in a relaxed atmosphere where you can have some fun together.  It would be a good idea to make it a multiple event occasion, say a carnival, then dinner followed by a movie.  Each of these occasions form a fun memory for your ex on which you can build later.

If your ex has agreed to go with you on those occasions above, you stand a good chance of getting him or her back.  By now, your ex would have most certainly noticed the changes in you, whether physically, behaviorally or in character.  Eventually, you can talk with your ex about deeper issues like your resuming your relationship.  And that is the most effective way to get your ex back.


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How To Survive An Affair 6 Steps to Recovery

How To Survive An Affair 6 Steps to Recovery

You are dealing with a situation where someone has broken a solemn promise to a person they have guaranteed their life’s affection to. There are hurt feelings, lost respect and hope, and the feeling that there may be no way back. Figure out if you are capable of moving forward after a spell of infidelity is one of the harder decisions a couple has to make. However, a necessary activity so that you can move forward with life, whether it is together or alone. For the best opportunity to succeed, there are some basic concepts to keep in mind for how to survive an affair.

Admit the Problem

how to survive an affair
how to survive an affair, admit it.

One of the most important aspects when dealing with infidelity is to admit that there was infidelity to begin with. This is important for both the person who acted and their partner. The person who was unfaithful must be willing to see and admit their transgression for what it is.

The partner must be willing to look at the person who was unfaithful and see him or her as both the same person they love as well as the person who was unfaithful. If the couple cannot admit to the seriousness and reality of the situation at hand, then there is little hope of actually being capable of overcoming the seriousness of the situation.

Honesty About What Happened

When one has caused a relationship to be cast upon the rocks due to infidelity, he or she must be honest. Without pure honesty, there is not any hope of rebuilding any relationship. A person who has acted unfaithfully can still salvage hope if they can remain honest.

Honesty means coming out with the truth before being blamed, as well as not attempting to hide anything if confronted. This honesty means being willing to divulge the entirety of the infidelity. There is an important distinction to make, which is that being honest does not mean giving every detail.

The partner does not want to you lay out every single detail of your affair, but instead simply needs to know what, when, and who with the transgressions occurred. Holding back the basic information can do no good and only leaves unrooted problems for later.

Honesty About What You Want

Both parties must be clear on if the relationship has any salvaging possibility at all. It is best not to attempt to make this decision right away. However, most of us know immediately whether we can truly recover from the current emotional damage. Being honest is the best way tactic in how to survive an affair.

What is most important is that both parties are honest. Both persons may feel there is simply no point in trying any more, which saves time and wasted effort. However, if one or both still want to try to find a way through the difficult time, then they can move to the next phase of recovery.

Allow Space

While it may be difficult, giving each other proper space to deal with the affair is important. Not everyone deals with these issues in the same manner. Furthermore, not everyone can handle the emotional pangs of seeing their partner after an affair has been brought to the surface.

Giving space does not have to mean moving apart or temporarily breaking up. Giving space can simply mean not trying to force the issue of fixing the problem. Allow the person to be angry and vent in his or her own way. If the partner needs to stay with family or asks you to leave temporarily, it is often best to comply and let emotions cool down.

Seek Outside Help

Very few individuals possess the capabilities to work out the complex emotional damage an affair can cause. Even therapists or couples specialist can deal with personal issues by themselves and often seek outside help. It is very difficult to navigate the emotions of that come up during the unearthing of an affair and the attempts to rebuild a relationship. Seeking the help of a trained professional is often the best hope a couple has. A specialist can guide emotion and wanted action in the proper way and at appropriate levels.

Allow Time to Heal

It can be very difficult to fathom in the moment, but time truly does heal all wounds. Trying to force healing is often a very poor idea and only does more harm than good. Instead, be supportive of the process of healing. Be aware that emotional wounds take a considerable amount of time to heal, especially when trust is lost. Time also allows you to improve on your own character and ability to show the partner that you care. This is true for both sides of the issue. Many times those who have been hurt try to force themselves to heal too quickly, only to have negative repercussions later.

Build Back Slowly

As stated above, time must do its work. You cannot force the healing and reconnection process to occur. Instead, taking the time to first improve the self and then improve the relationship is the only surefire way to have possible success. While it may be hard to comprehend in the heat of anguish and anger, making small day-to-day improvements on the broken relationship is key. Build small moments of trust every day can help begin to build back what was lost by having an affair.

Being able to find moments to laugh together again, no matter how small and ridiculous will also slowly begin to build back a worthwhile friendship. It is a foolhardy to attempt to conjure a grandiose action that you believe will make everything better. While the gesture may be appreciated and admired in the short-term, the hard facts are that with an affair, a relationship is broken. Luckily, many things that are broken can be mended, and they just take time and concerted effort. Hopefully, you have some more insight into how to survive an affair.


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My Girlfriend Wants A Break And Now What?

My Girlfriend Wants A Break, A Cool Off Period And Now What?

Sometimes we find ourselves in a relationship that is on the rocks. We have tried, and have failed, to turn the ship around. When we are stuck in this situation, we can be concerned and even panicked that the relationship will end. And there are times when the person we are in the relationship decides that she is ready for a break. When this happens, we can feel even more scared that we have failed and the relationship is ending. What do we do when the girlfriend wants a break?

Here are some strategies that can help you find your way back from the brink and pull through in the difficult “break period” of a relationship.

Take a Breath

relax and breath
relax and breath

It can be hard to remember, but a break does not mean you have “broken up” with her. For one reason or another, she wants to take a break and that is better than her saying she never wants to see your face again, correct?

So before you have a nervous breakdown or an emotional pity-party, remember that this is a break for both of you. Take a moment to take a deep breath, feel a little weight rise off your shoulders, and appreciate the fact that you have not lost just yet. The worst thing you can do is to become more desperate and fearful, as it both does not look mature and will likely cause you to damage the relationship more.

Do Not Become Paranoid

One of the most corrosive attitudes you can have during a break period is to obsess over why the break occurred. Women are just as complex as men, and there likely is not just one reason you are on a break. By sitting around and obsessing over what it could be, you will inevitably come up with worst-case scenarios that will drive you nearly insane.

Try to remember that she is likely as emotional and lost as you are in the situation, and is likely going through the same worry and concern as you are. Remembering this can help you avoid jealousy, fear, and destructive behavior of your own. A break is not the end-all-be-all and you cannot treat it as such.

Do Not Accuse Her

No matter what your evidence or suspicion, it is important that you do not act as if she is taking a break from you to enact some dastardly plan. Do not become a jealous wretch and accuse her of wanting to be with someone else or being unfaithful. Being the accuser simply turns you into the bad person and pushes her away from you even more than she already is prepared to be.

By accusing her, you are saying there is a lack of trust that what she is doing is for the best. By accusing her of that, you are admitting that trust, a foundation of a relationship, is lacking in the relationship. It’s best to be lay low if your girlfriend wants a break.

Ask Her For a Timeline

Perhaps she has not thought through this break that she is asking for, but it is your right to at least ask if she knows when you can speak again. A lot of times these breaks are after long periods of silent distance or a single explosive argument stemming from persistent troubles. Regardless of the cause, she may simply feel overwhelmed and need space to think.

While she likely will not have a precise date or day, it is okay to ask for a general timeline for when you two can reconnect to check on how progression is going. Asking for this timeline both gives you a goal to work toward and a reconnection point. You are much less likely to lose full contact with her if you have a set date for coffee or lunch.

Take The Time To Better Yourself

Be proactive about who you are as a person. When we are around someone every day, we can lose sight of what makes them special. Take the time she will be away from you to reinvent yourself and discover new qualities about you. When you do this, not only do you better your chances of reestablishing the relationship, but you also show her that you are not stagnant. Even more important, you will feel better about yourself. Everyone can use a little revamp now-and-then, and a relationship break is a perfect time to do it.

Do Not Burn Bridges

When we are being “let go” (a.k.a. your girlfriend wants a break) it is easy to become despondent and to want to tell the other person off. Do not burn those bridges! She is asking you to let go just enough to give her space to think. She is also indirectly asking you to reassess where you are in your life. Instead of acting like she is persecuting you and damning her intentions, let her know that you understand.

Even if you do not fully understand, chances are that if she wants to take a break then you are aware of the relationship’s troubles as well. Allow her to know that you hear what she is saying and validate her concerns. Do not become defensive and demand any sort of satisfaction. Instead, let her know that when she is ready to talk, you will be there.

It is okay to tell her that you would rather not take a break, and that you think both of you can talk it out. There is nothing wrong with wanting to stand your ground and defending the relationship. At the same time, you must allow her to know that your door is always open and your phone is always on. This will allow her to know what a special and important person she has possessed in her life.

Last Note:

The “break period” can be unbelievably difficult. Time almost stands still as you wait for the day you can reconnect with the person or know you’ve lost them for good. It is almost like an ungodly purgatory on earth that you must endure. Perhaps the hardest part is going on with your daily tasks, but you must. Remembering that life continues during these difficult break periods, and always remembering to breath, can help you succeed in surviving such times. Also, remember that even though your girlfriend wants a break, you are taking your own time to evaluate things for yourself.

If you need more help, you can always reach out to our therapists or you can check out our relationship advice for men section for more tips.


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How To Get Your Ex Back In 4 Secret Steps – Step 2

How To Get Your Ex Back In 4 Secret Steps – Step 2

Now that you are well-aware of core elements of how to get your ex back, it is now time to talk about secret art of transmuting negativity into positive energy. If you just jumped on to the second step, I’d strongly advise you to go back and go through the step 1. I understand you are in a hurry to have your ex in your arms but you have to work on this problem in a systematic way.

Hey, congratulations to make it so far as it has been shown that 90% of the people cannot even get past the first page. And if you are here, you are the top 10% of the people and this really outline the seriousness that you have to salvage your personal relationship with your ex.

Hang in there as I am going to share with you the following tricks on how to get your ex back by using my secret techniques to “Transform Your Ex Emotion.”

step-2

As you know, emotion is really a crazy thing in relationship, it can either make or break you and your loved ones if you know how to do it (I’ll explain how to do that in a minute, just hang on there). No matter what sort of emotions your ex is holding for you at the moment, you can use them to your advantage (yes, even hatred – if that’s the case with you).

Compare to various controversy theory, reigniting love and attraction all over again is not that hard as it claimed to be, in fact it is even easier when your ex is feeling the same intense emotions as you like anger, jealousy, frustrations and even sadness. As long as your mindset is right and determine to get back your ex, then there is a really good chance that you can work on your ex emotions to reignite the spark once again.

Transform Your Ex Emotions #1:

Accept the problem to begin solving it (how to get your ex back)

81867588-253x300The first step to master the art of transforming your ex emotions is to first accept the problem. Something went wrong in your relationship and that’s the reason why you two are no longer with each-other right now (Simple as that). Denying the problem now and it will almost certainly blow up on your face few days later (believe me it does). If you are a man trying to get back your woman back into your arms again, then recognizing and acknowledging her emotions is the first most important step that you should do. Only after you recognize certain negative emotion (at both ends), you can start transforming it to positive emotions of love, gratitude, respect, attraction and closeness. You can mess up quickly if you don’t do that!

The much needed transformation in emotions takes place when you use what I called it as “Emotion Triggers”. These emotion triggers are the tiny bits and pieces of the relationship, emotions and stories that you two lovingly shared in the past. These triggers will later become the most important part of your communication with your ex via simple text messages (Yes, you hear me correctly, it is using your phone to send text messages. Who says getting back your ex needs to be a complicated process?).

It takes a little careful planning and you can take your ex to a desired emotional level without any difficulty.  That’s how you can make your ex focus on your positive aspects and bring them back to your side all over again.

Transform Your Ex Emotions #2:

Discover positive aspects of your relationship (another important aspect on how to get your ex back)

83146314-300x225Alright, you know it already (Subconsciously, everyone does). But you need to take it out from the back of your head to use it to your advantage now! If you don’t do that, your texts messages will not perform the way you want them to. It will take time but you must not plan on using some shortcuts here. Every relationship has certain positive triggers that are responsible to start your relationship at the first place. In fact, these triggers are what bring two people together, make them fall in love and start a meaningful relationship. It happens with everyone.

These positive emotions triggers were the ones that make you think that he or she is the one for you for your entire life. Now you need to discover these positive emotion triggers one by one by reminiscing some of the wonderful time you have had with your ex (I suggest you use a pen to jot down all the points as you are thinking through now). This may take some time so please take this time to think through this properly before you even you proceed to the next step that I am going to highlight. A good place to start is to think of all the good times you two shared when your relationship blossomed.

Some of the most common topics that glue two people together in a relationship (or kick-start it) include music, religion, passions, books, sex and kids. Your relationship may have some new topics as well. Try to go as deep as possible to discover positive aspects that can really click when you use text messages to communicate with your ex and drive him or her back to your arms.

It is important that you focus on all possible categories to figure out as many positives emotions triggers as possible. For example, if you start with music, you can list the kind of music you both enjoyed together. Or, it can be the track that both of you remember so well because it made you kiss each other on a lovely morning. It’s easy to find these positive aspects once you get started. Sex and passion are two topics that are no doubt important. These two topics can help you to rekindle positive emotions very quickly (Yes, that’s true. Every couple has had unique stories).

You don’t have to look for shortcuts when finding positive emotions triggers of your relationships. This method will work best when you try to be exhaustive in all your efforts.  What do I mean here? For example, if it’s about kids, you shouldn’t stop just there. You need to figure out some commonalities between you and your ex regarding kids that can bring you together. In most cases, these are little things that matter the most. If there is something about kids that you both love and enjoy from your hearts, it can be a great ‘positive emotions triggers’ that you can use. In any case, try to be completely honest when listing these positive aspects. Don’t make any guesses – there is no room for that right now.

Transform Your Ex Emotions #3:

Discover positive experiences that you had with your ex

108189808-300x208Now that you are well aware of what glued you together as a couple, you need to list all positive experiences that you made relationship special and memorable (So much that you are willing to create a more passionate, loving, and higher enthusiastic commitment in a  relationship now).

These experiences are generally the ones that stay in the back of your head almost forever and make you smile as soon as you remember them (although you’d have to spend some time to recalling all of them, but i can assure you that this is well worth it). If everything works out well (it WILL if you follow the step by step approach seriously), you’d be telling these positive experiences as bedtime stories to your grandkids few decades down the line! I’m sure you now understand what sort of experiences I’m referring to. You don’t have to be in a hurry when spotting these positive experiences when going back in the memory-lane. I have listed some of the examples that you can start thinking of below:

How you got together: This experience is no doubt highly valuable for both of you. If you are holding such an experience close to your heart, your ex is almost certainly doing the same. When two people get together, they feel an intense love and attraction towards each other. That’s one positive story that you can use a trigger.

When you were a team: If you go down the memory-lane, you’ll certainly find some occasions when you and your ex were a good team. For example, you two might have stuck together like one soul when your relatives or close friends opposed something either one of you approved of.

How you faced some challenges: Challenges and difficult time bring people together. If there have been times when you and your ex went through a challenging situation together, it can make a wonderful positive story. Difficult times usually bring people together and now you can depend on these great memories and start using the emotion trigger to get your ex back.

When you two finally accepted each other: It may include the day or night you two first accepted each other completely. You can also think of the occasion when you proposed to your ex (or the other way round).

These are just some of the common indicators that you can use to discover positive stories that connect you and your ex. From positive and memorable sexual experiences to boring activities that you two loved, you can also think of some adventurous activities you shared in the past. Just make sure that you do not choose anything that annoyed or displeased your ex in the past. Only positive experiences qualify as triggers that you can use to transform your ex’s emotions by using the texting strategies that I am going to explain in step 3. So hang on there, ok?

Transform Your Ex Emotions #4:

Analyze how your ex might be feeling at the moment

81867590-214x300This is important because you have to work on these emotions. In most cases, your ex might be experiencing some kinds of conflicting emotions. For example, it can be a mixture of self-righteousness and anger. If your relationship came to an abrupt break-up, it can be a little hard to figure out the emotions. In this case, you can ask some your common friends or relatives to learn about the exact reason behind the break-up. That’ll be of great help in learning about the kind of feelings your ex has for you at the moment.

 

Now that you can see, the things that I shared above are not trivial stuffs that you should avoid. In fact, if anyone of you is reading step 2 before step 1. Then I urge you to read the step 1 again before you proceed onward.

Click here to read about step 1 – The Core Elements of a relationship

Now that you have covered the core elements of a relationship and techniques to transform your ex emotions, you are now ready to move on to step 3 which is “My Secret Techniques on how to get your ex back part 3”.


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So, You’re Still In Love With Ex Huh?

He Is Seeing Another Girl Now, You’re Still In Love With Ex… So What Should I Do?

It can be a nightmare scenario. You are walking down the street or driving by the local coffee shop when you suddenly see your ex with a new girl. There’s no doubt about it, she is draped on his arm and they are laughing together in a way only couples do. You are still in love with ex huh?

Your heart will inevitably sink into your stomach and you’ll hear a slight high-pitched buzzing as your brain nearly implodes into itself. You always knew that this day would come but it is just a bit difficult to accept. So now what do you do?

Assess Your Situation

still in love with ex
still in love with ex

In you moment of surprise, shock, and/or anger, you might have forgotten how the situation ought to affect you. For instance, if you are already in a healthy and worthwhile relationship of your own then you have no reason to be upset.

Sure, you are still going to feel some emotional reaction, but if you too have already moved on, then what right do you have to let that anger bother you for more than a few minutes? If you are taking your time to be single after your relationship to him, then celebrate the fact that you are mature enough to avoid falling into unhealthy premature relationships.

Personal Anger

It is likely that your initial reaction is to be hurt. This usually manifests in two different emotions. You can either become angry or sad. No matter which emotion is evoked, it is best that you let those emotions out in a private manner.

It is perfectly healthy to let those emotions out, and doing so publicly is sometimes unavoidable. But remember not to make a fool of yourself by making a scene. You are a mature enough person to patiently wait until the time is appropriate to have an emotional outburst. And if your own mental health does not persuade you, then remember that the best way to show your ex that you too have moved on is by putting on a good face, or at least the best face possible.

It Is Not A Competition

Just because your ex has moved on does not mean you have to. Trying to keep up with your ex by attaching yourself to someone or by having an “active nightlife” only shows a level of insecurity and lack of assuradness about yourself.

Instead of trying to keep up with him, realize where you are in the post-relationship cycle. Whether you still need to be sad, angry, depressed, or even a bit in denial about the whole situation is fine. But attempting to turn it into a competition is both petty and turns yourself into an object wielded by your own ego.

Find Out If It’s True

A lot of times, we can jump to conclusions because something seems to be the case. Remember to always make sure that he is seeing someone else before you begin to proclaim it as fact. Also, remember that sometimes one person can say something is true when it blatantly is not to everyone else. Make sure that you have your facts straight to avoid any embarrassing scenarios where you make yourself look like a fool or overreact.

Suspend Your Judgment

It is pretty easy to allow yourself the brief satisfactions of assuming all the worst things about your ex and about the person he is with. While this can bring some brief satisfaction, quite often it is simply that you are feeling hurt or anger and you are purging that feeling.

Instead of allowing yourself to say mean and likely subjective things about your ex and the other person, remember that he is someone you cared about and perhaps he and this other person are happy. While that fact may sting a bit, there is no reason to assume negative things about either of them or their relationship.

Nothing makes you look worse than when you assume they are in the relationship for all the wrong reasons, when really they are content, happy, and just right for each other. Instead, keeping your mouth closed on the issue is the best plan.

Do Not Show Jealously

Being a jealous wreck may be cathartic in some ways, but more often than not, it is simply pathetic looking. Nobody wants to be the wretched ex who says means things about the ex and scoffs at the very mention or site of him. Instead, attempt to be quite and accepting of the fact that he is with someone new. His moving on does not have to be a reflection on you in any way, and the less you remark on it the less likely people are to assume that you havenot moved on as well.

Be Courteous To Her

This is especially an important ability if you live in a small town or you have to interact his new girlfriend. Attempt to be as cordial and kind as possible (in accordance to social dictates). Even if it has not been long since you broke up with him, you should not take it out on her.

Remember that it is likely not her fault that you and your ex are not together anymore. Even if he became interested in her while you were still with your ex, there is no reason to blame her for his attraction. Your anger or sadness with him should not bubble over into your interaction with her. Being rude to her makes you look petty and unfair. Instead, be as nice as you need to and always be courteous when possible to show you are a mature individual.

Last Note

It is never going to be something you want to see. It is never going to be something you are prepared to see. And when you see it, it is likely not to roll off you like water off a duck’s back. But keeping in mind where you are in your own life, what the situation should mean to you, and how you ought to handle the situation can mean you pull through without too much damage. Life must go on and so must he. Just remember that you too must move forward like everyone else, and so staying obsessed will do you no good. Just keep your focus on yourself and you’ll make it through your ex moving on just fine. If you want to get back with your ex, check out our section on that.


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