How To Get Your Ex Husband Back, The Easy Way!

How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

Is divorce the end all and be all of your marriage?  On paper it is, but in reality, it is not.  No marriage is made in heaven but no marriage should end in divorce, either.  That’s because no one in his or her right mind gets married with the purpose of divorcing later.  So, although you have been recently divorced or are in the process of being divorced, can you still get your ex-husband (or soon to be ex) back?  The answer is YES and we will show you how to get your ex husband back.

Usually disputes, arguments, disagreements that lead to divorce stem from some form of unfulfilled expectation in one or both spouses.  Think about it.  Whether it is a minor thing like the husband staying out late or a major problem like the wife’s gambling habit, it will lead to arguments or disagreements because one partner has certain expectations of the other that is not fulfilled.  The wife expects her husband to be responsible enough to come home at a reasonable time but he does not fulfill her expectation.  The husband expects the wife to be more self-controlled and not waste all their money gambling but his wife does not fulfill his expectations.

So the key to getting your ex-husband back is to know what he expects and fulfill them.  Better yet, do more than what is expected of you.  If you are already divorced or are in the process of being divorced, you might not be able to speak to your ex-husband freely.  Nevertheless, you can still find out what your ex-husband’s expectations are by looking at how the disagreements happened in your marriage.  Where did the expectations fail to be met?  Take time to think and review your marriage in this area.  It is crucial to discover as many areas where expectations were not met as possible.

The next step is to focus on yourself and what role you played in not fulfilling your ex-husband’s expectations.  Of course, some of those expectations are unreasonable, but there are probably many that are valid and you should consider them.  It is important that you change in the areas where your husband’s expectations are not met by you.  Change to comply with his expectations.  If you do this, it will lead on to the next important thing and that is to meet your ex-husband’s needs.

Expectations stem from needs, especially in a marriage.  You need companionship, relationship, someone to talk to, help in household chores etc so you expect your husband to meet those needs and rightfully so.  Likewise, your ex-husband has his needs for support, encouragement, praise, cooperation, understanding, loyalty etc and he looks to you for it.  So if you can identify where you can better meet his needs, you stand a great chance of getting your ex-husband back.

All these spell change.  You must change first before expecting your ex-husband to change.  I know from experience that a man will do anything for a woman who meets his needs, especially emotional needs (and I’m not just talking about sex). Once you change, your ex-husband will change, too and you can get him back into your arms where he belongs.

We offer 24/7 professional support for how to get your ex husband back. Click on the image below to speak with one of our therapists.


How To Get Your Ex Wife Back, The Easy Way!

How To Get Your Ex Wife Back

These days the divorce rate is on the rise.  In some societies, as many as 50% of couples get divorced.  Many people see divorce as the ultimate end of a marriage.  But is it really?  I don’t think so.  As long as your ex-wife has not remarried, there is still hope in getting your ex back.  In fact, in some ways it is easier to get your ex-wife back than to get your ex-girlfriend back.  That is because of the hassle in going through a formal divorce and all that goes with it such as custody of children, division of property, child support and alimony etc.  These matters can either work for or against you on how to get your ex wife back.

So, how to get your ex wife back?

First of all, do not be in a rush to get your ex-wife back.  Whatever the causes of the breakup were, it is important to give yourselves some time and space to evaluate things so that you do not do anything out of impulse.  Take about a month to ‘cool off’.  During this time, you should think about your marriage and what it meant to you.  Forgiveness is the goal.  This is also a good time to evaluate yourself and make some changes.  When you eventually get back together with your ex, you don’t want her to get back the same old you, right?  Before even thinking about how to get your ex-wife back, you must get your own act together.  Whatever your fault was that led to your breakup, you need to change or rectify it.

Only after a month of self-evaluation and personal changes should you make steps to get your ex-wife back.  When the time is right, you can contact your ex-wife and ask her out for a casual date.  Don’t make it a formal one, just stick to doing something fun and casual together.  The purpose is to help her see the changes in you and get used to being with you again.  Take this opportunity to make it a memorable occasion.  Do something that you used to enjoy doing together without being too pushy or intrusive.  You must not present the impression that you’re desperate to get her back (even if you are).  Just focus on having fun and engaging in some light conversation together.

After this first date, don’t be in a rush to arrange the second one.  Remember, don’t appear desperate.  Let a week or two pass before contacting her again to ask for another time out together.  Once you get your ex-wife to agree to see you again, repeat the same modus operandi of having a fun and memorable time together.

Keep this up for a few months and gradually work towards talking about whether you should get back together again.  But this has to happen naturally when both of you are ready to talk about it.  If you bring up the subject and you get a negative reaction from your ex, it means you have gone into it too soon.  Back up and start over.  Your ex-wife needs time to get the idea of being together with you again.

It is not impossible to win your ex-wife back even after a divorce or separation.  It would take time, but if you play your cards right, you will have warmed up your ex-wife over a period of months to the idea of a reconciliation.  Then you can talk about more serious stuff like the future and all that pertains to it.  If that happens, you are well on the road to getting back together with your ex-wife.


The Truth: Irretrievable Breakdown Of Marriage

How Negativity Contributes To The Irretrievable Breakdown Of Marriage

Even though there are many factors that lead to divorce, negativity contributes the most to the irretrivable breakdown of marriage. Most of the time, it’s hard to pinpoint one cause of the breakdown. However, I can guarantee that negativity plays a role.

Negative Energy Spells Doom
If you are cynical about things in your married life, take a deep breath. Negativity closes you off to accepting responsibility for your actions in your marriage. If you cannot fight those negative emotions, you’re flirting with a divorce. It’s important to remember why you got married in the first place.  Centering yourself on that thought can be enough to remind you of you role and whether or not you are fulfilling it.

Combat You Marriage With Courage If You Want To Make It Work
Before you jump to conclusions about how bad things are in your marriage, just remember that these negative feelings can be changed. It will take work on both parts, but it can be done.

Here are some tips that you can use to prevent the irretrievable breakdown of marriage

  1. Avoid engaging in a verbal duels every time a problem crops up. A confrontationist attitude will only compound the problem. The proverbial blame-game definitely pushes the marriage towards despair.
  2. It’s also important to be sensitive to each other’s aspirations and expectations. Both partners must learn to reciprocate feelings of love and trust.
  3. Be real about your marriage and marriage in general. There are good things and bad things about it. Take the good with the bad and move forward. It’s better for the both of you.
  4. Making an earnest attempt to sort out arguments before they fester. This is absolutely essential. The use of humor, appreciation and even caring remarks can minimize all worries to a considerably.

A good marriage is all about being positive. You have to remind yourself of why you are there and more importantly who you are. If you recognize that things just won’t work for you and your partner that is okay. Sometimes the  irretrievable breakdown of marriage is best for both parties. However if you would like to give things another chance, check out our section on marital problems or our article on how you can save your relationship. Lastly, if you would like to speak with a licensed therapist on how to move forward, download our app to speak with someone for free.


How To Get Through A Divorce In The First 30 Days

Learn How To Get Through A Divorce

It is never a nice feeling to realize that something that you’ve invested time, money and emotions in will only end up a failure. What may be a relief for some could be a time of depression or feels of rejection for you especially if you have hoped for things to be better. So how do you get through a divorce? Who can you talk to? What can you do?

The first 30 days after your divorce are expected to be the most difficult. During this period, you will all the good times you’ve shared and the memories that you’ve had. Chances are you will go through the scenarios leading to your divorce, wishing that everything is just a bad dream. Tears will be your constant companion and you might even get to a point wherein you would start blaming yourself, even if it was the other party who cheated or decided to call it quits.

With that, how do you get through a divorce with yourself still complete?

First, you have to convince yourself that it’s okay to feel what you are feeling right now. Shock, fear, anger, denial and resentment are normal feelings that would express your current predicament. Go ahead and let it all out. Your friends will understand and so will your kids and family. Studies show that emotions that are hidden will only find other ways to reveal themselves. You could get very irritable, stressed and even go into mild to major depression. Some women would go back to eating their comfort foods like ice cream. Others would go shopping, leave town or spend time with their loved ones. Different people would deal with the aftermath of a divorce differently so don’t be afraid about how to get through a divorce.

Second, do not shun others away. It is during the most difficult that your true friends will come out. Accept their sympathy and learn to appreciate the support that they are giving you. You need people around you to feel secured and to somehow fill that void that your ex-husband may have left.

Third, take care of yourself. Yes, a man may have let you go but don’t ruin your chances of finding true love again just because you do not take care of yourself. If it pleases you, get a makeover and accept fewer workload. Simply sit back, relax and de-stress. Just be sure that you’re doing that for yourself and not because you want to take a revenge on your ex.

And of course, don’t forget to carry with you the lessons that you have learned from your breakup. It will be rather useless to know the answer to the question “how to get through a divorce?” if you do not pick up important lessons in the process. So step back and look at the big picture. Try to understand what happened. What did you do wrong? What did you do right? Acknowledge the part you’ve played so that you will learn to accept your mistakes when you were still in the relationship.

Because of the numerous cases of divorce filed, the issue has become rather habitual for some. But if this is your first time, remember that it’s not the end of the world yet. So how do you get through a divorce? Continue being strong. If you need a therapist to speak to, please download and install our app. They can help you with questions you may have that are specific to you situation.


Will We Get Back Together? A Quiz And 5 Fantastic Tips

Will We Get Back Together? The Age Old Question With A Quiz to Boot!

“Help! I’m a hapless husband/ boyfriend trying desperately to save my marriage/relationship.” The plaintive wail is almost unmistakable …

Dealing with a breakup is something that all happy and content men and women view with a sense of passive resignation. Imagine a life without love and romance, or an existence without your soul mate?

It takes more than just a healthy heart to survive a separation. It’s a roller-coaster ride that tests your strength and fortitude to the limits.

And if you still have even an iota of doubt, just ask couples that have coped admirably with different stages of a relationship.

There’s No Quick-Fix Answer

Unfortunately, getting over your ex is a long and arduous journey, filled with a combination of agony and angst …

You could be a devoted wife giving marital counseling a full-on shot in an earnest attempt to stop a bitter divorce or a jilted girlfriend that, on a rebound from a failed love affair, invests all her time in therapy, but the pain and suffering is unmitigated by any hope of an early relief.

Add to this, the flurry of will we get back together thoughts, and the picture dosen’t get any brighter. But in these singularly trying times, it is the Internet that seems to be your only succor.

Dripping with all sorts of advice on how to mend a broken heart, ably buttressed by quotable quotes and poems, these websites perform the repair work with amazing alacrity.

To Be Or Not To Be

Now that’s the question that will make you sound definitely Shakespearean.

After all, you are the veteran of many a will we get back together quiz, right? These quizzes are your best bet when you are trying to ascertain your get-my-ex-back quotient.

Not only do they provide that much-needed Bodhi-tree enlightenment on your chances, they also bombard you with a laundry list of things to do after getting back together. Sounds trite?

Well, it’s not for nothing that they enjoy that rockstar appeal. This is one of the secrets to answering will we get back together.

What Are Your Chances? Will we get back together?

Wondering if you should lend the olive branch? The chances of reconciliation will really depend on your answers to a plethora of interesting questions. Take a test yourself; just make sure you are as honest as possible:

  1. Do you hate your ex? Or are you totally mad at them?
  2. Have you changed your schedule so that you do not bump into him?
  3. Do you still show up at all gatherings at his place?
  4. Do you still talk to each other?
  5. Have you found somebody else as yet?
  6. Are you envious of their new boyfriend or girlfriend?
  7. Do you still have that itch to impress them?
  8. Was the break-up mutual or amicable?
  9. Were the channels of communication always open in the relationship?
  10. Do you believe that you can change for the better?

I guess one does not require great powers of imagination written into one’s DNA to have an in-depth understanding of the best possible answers to these questions.

Needless to add, the more positive the answers, brighter the chances of you reviving the relationship.

Face Rejection With Resilience

Dealing with a failed relationship is hard, but trying to make amends is much harder. It’s here that one needs to be aggressive, in a very restrained sort of way …

Confused? Well, here are five fantastic, almost priceless, little tips that will help you strike a chord with your ex with amazing precision:

  • No desperate measures: If you subscribe to the adage, ‘desperate times need desperate measures’, then your behavior is almost certain to put your ex completely off. So that means no begging or pleading, or no inundating with phone calls, text messages or even gifts. It’s important to stay calm, composed and supremely confident, and you will emerge victorious.
  • Give them the space: Strike while the iron is hot does not work in this scenario. It’s important that you give your ex the space and time to heal. Remember, they must miss your presence. It’s only this feeling of emptiness in their lives that will draw them closer to you.
  • No arguments, please: It’s important that you bury the hatchet, once in for all. No more squabbles and arguments about the past. You must learn to let bygones be bygones.
  • Get a life: Invest the time on your hands with family and friends. Work hard, party harder. Pamper yourself, may be with a brand new wardrobe or a spanking new car. Your ex is sure to get all weak-kneed by just watching your self-esteem soar.
  • Let’s talk: Once your ex does fall hook, line and sinker for your sincere efforts, it’s time to trash out all those niggling issues that seem to have plagued your relationship. Make sure you start afresh, without the ponderous baggage of the past.

Once you have made peace with your ex, make sure the happiness and tranquility lasts a lifetime.  If your situation is more complicated beyond the scope of this post, you can speak with a relationship therapist now for free by downloading our app Clarapy.


How To Build Trust In A Marriage – Hints & Tips

How To Build Trust In A Marriage

Trust is not just the baseline; it’s the bottom-line of all successful marriages. It helps couples stay together through the thick and thin, and gives them the redoubtable strength to face insurmountable odds, no matter what.

On the other hand, an alliance that fails to inspire confidence and conviction is almost certain to crumble under the insidious pressures of modern-day living. Couples trapped in such faith-less marriages will always have unreasonable doubts lurking in the deep crevices of their mind. And the lack of intimacy only adds to their woes. Needless to add, the future of such alliances always seem to be in mortal jeopardy.

So if how to build trust in a marriage is your greatest quandary, you must take time off to read this insightful account. You are sure not to regret it.

Six Terrific Tips For All Ages

If you are woefully starved of ideas to instill faith and trust in your marriage, then here is the answer to all your entreaties:

  • Keep a promise: A promise is a promise, whether made to earnest employees or your persuasive partner. It could be an assurance to remain faithful under all circumstances or even to throw out the trash before going to bed every night, all these tasks fall under the ambit of reliability.
  • Honesty – the best policy: Whatever you do, make sure you never lie to your spouse. It takes just one untruth to expose the cracks in your marriage.
  • Belief in each other: All accusations of cheating or lying must be backed by proof, because without conclusive evidence any kind of allegation only leads to the misgivings and suspicions.
  • Know your limits: It’s important to know your limits and abide by them strictly, both within and outside your marriage. Remember, your partner means the world to you, and make sure he or she is aware of the same.
  • Have confidence in your choice: It’s only if you have complete faith in the choice you made for husband or wife can you expect the same kind of trust to invade your personal life.
  • Be reasonable: Never hide things, or behave in a manner that’s bound to create suspicion. Being open about things helps in fostering trust. Also, avoid making demands that sound blatantly absurd.

But above all, make sure there is no lack of communication between the two of you. It’s the best way to dispel all kinds of niggling doubts and foster a feeling of trust and commitment.


A Nagging Wife – Relationship Advice For Men

Why Am I Impatient Only With My Nagging Wife?

QUESTION: About my nagging wife

Why is it that the only the person I am in a relationship with, (i.e. now my wife), irritates and upset me over small things (that I am normally very patient with people I don’t know very well)?


Your question is a good one. Unfortunately, there are so many possibilities here, that without a dialogue with you, coming to a definite understanding about WHY you react to your wife the way you do is simply not possible. However, let me give you what I think are the two most common reasons for such reactions (you’ll have to decide which one, if any, fits for you). After that, I will try to give you some ideas on how to CHANGE your relationship and make it more positive. You see, unlike some in my field, I DO NOT believe that understanding WHY is always necessary to make the changes you desire. Hence, while I may or may not give you a clear understanding of WHY, I think I might be able to provide you with help on your relationship none the less.

Anyway…let’s get down to it.

Why do you react to your wife with impatience and irritability, when you do not do so with others?

Possibility #1: Unrealistic expectations for your spouse “nagging wife”.

Here the issue is that you have placed unrealistic expectations on how you feel your spouse should react to you, or handle difficulties, or meet her day-to-day obligations, etc. Such expectations are usually unspoken (sometimes not even conscious), but they are reflected in your feelings about how you think she SHOULD be. If we were to examine just one of the incidents in which you became “irritable and upset,” the question I would ask is “Why was what she did so awful or horrible to you?” More than likely your response would start with something like – “Because what she did was stupid, or wrong!…She SHOULD __________ !” (Here you can fill in the blank).

These “shoulds” are tied to particular relationship roles in our lives. Deep down, we all have some “shoulds” about how we think certain relationships (e.g., mothers, fathers, friends, spouses, children) ought to be. Strangely enough, though, we often only have these “shoulds” for one or perhaps two kinds of relationships in our lives. The others we are more accepting of and less demanding. Usually these “shoulds” become activated (we expect them) when the relationships they’re attached to are believed to be solidified (when you consciously come to the understanding that this person in your life has now taken on a particular role for you). Since you appear to be married, it would seem to me that your “should-ing” on your wife would have FIRST APPEARED relatively early in your relationship, possibly during your engagement or soon after your marriage. Once she became your “wife,” then a whole set of “preprogrammed” expectations clicked into play and Viola!! – She has now become a source of frustration to you.

However, you may be thinking – “But wait…after we got married, we had several GOOD months where she didn’t really seem to bother me. This has only happened recently! In the beginning of our marriage, things were fine!” If this is the case, then either (a) for the first few months you were also facing OTHER huge stressors in your life which totally preoccupied you, and kept you from focusing on her, or (b) we have the 2nd possibility….

Possibility #2: Relationship Meltdown due to Intense Stress.

Displacement is a word that mental health experts use to define the phenomenon of someone who is so stressed with “person/situation A,” but cannot fully express or control it, so they express their frustration on “person B,” who had nothing to do with it. This is a very common thing for all of us. We face the pressures of the workplace or finances, come home frustrated and angry, and then “spill out” that frustration and anger on those we love. Why not wait to give it to others? Because they are simply not as easily accessible. Ask yourself this question: “Have I been under extreme pressure for the past several weeks (or perhaps months)?” “Is it just possible that I have let this stress-pressure effect my patience and consideration for my spouse?”

Consider whether or not you have been able to TALK to your spouse about your pressures. If that seems weird to you, consider some other outlet for your frustration. Often men “vent” their anger not by talking, but by tinkering (such as working in the garage, lawn, or home-improvement project). The other method is mental focus on physical activity, either actual (playing a sport), or vicarious (watching a sport). Perhaps if your “nagging wife” was to just give you some down-time when you come home from work where you can release some of your stress, without trying to interact with her, you may find yourself in a better frame of mind to treat her more appropriately. Perhaps you could ask her nicely.

Now I don’t know for sure if either of these possibilities fits (perhaps both of them do, perhaps neither do). In any case, regardless of the reason, there are some things you can do to change this state of affairs. Let’s explore this….

Overcoming Impatience With Others

Have there been times when you didn’t allow the “small things” to get to you? In those moments, what did you do differently that kept you from feeling irritated and upset? What ever that was, try doing it again! Chances are, you had a different way of thinking about the situation. You experienced those moments with a “this is not such a big deal” kind of attitude. Anger is often a function of us making “mountains out of molehills.” Learning not to sweat the little things is very, very important for relationships to endure. Remember this point: YOU control your level of anger and irritation – NOT THE SITUATION. IT is simply a matter of how YOU CHOOSE TO LOOK AT IT and THINK ABOUT IT. When your wife does something equivalent to the “small things,” you may choose to look at it with irony (in this case you will smile), or look at it with gratitude that she made the effort in spite of the flub (in this case you will feel thankful), or look at it with fear about what negatively may come of it (in this case you will worry and feel anxious), or look at it with concern that YOU may not have explained clearly to her what you wanted (in this case you will feel a desire to explain yourself more clearly). Any of these feelings are possible – GIVEN THE SAME SITUATION. The difference lies not in your wife or in the situation, but in WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO THINK.

Remember this sequence: Situation – Thoughts – Feelings. It is the “automatic” thoughts that you are engaging in that are leading to your feelings of irritation. Try this exercise: Pick the most recent experience where this occurred with your wife. Ask yourself: “What was I thinking when I felt that way?” Then ask yourself: “What could I have thought INSTEAD, that would have made me feel less irritated…perhaps even different?” Consider these possibilities:

“I am inconvenienced by this, but that’s OK.”

“At least she tried, many would not.”

“I do not need to have everything go my way. I would like it. But I know that expecting that it SHOULD is simply irrational.”

“I wonder why she did it that way? I want to find out! I’ll ask her kindly.”

Perhaps you can think of other possibilities. Now the next time you find yourself feeling irritated and upset at your nagging wife, STOP and THINK. Try to replace your thoughts with one of the possibilities listed above (or one that you have created). You may find it hard at first to shift your thinking. After all, it is automatic in nature but you can practice with each experience, replacing your irritation-producing thoughts with thoughts that lead to kindness, consideration, communication, and gratitude. It may take some time, but you can make it happen.

In addition, take some time to go on a real “Date” with your spouse. Make any problems between the two of you off limits during the date. Talk about others, your friends, work… whatever…but enjoy yourself. Take some time to think and talk about what things were like when you started dating each other. Recall your feelings, how you got her attention (or vice-versa), and what you enjoyed about each other. Recalling such memories will help you find more caring and consideration for your spouse.

You are the master of your destiny and “nagging wife”.

I hope this has helped you in some way. If you want more relationship advice from a mans perspective check out relationship advice for men category. Check out our marriage problems section for more.


How relationship advice chat will save your marriage.

People often speak with me about their relationships and marital problems, looking for advice as to how to fix their relationship. The topic of money often gets brought up and it appears as a common factor that leads to disaster. The logic is, the more money you make, the less of a relationship problem there will be. Acclaimed websites such as Forbes, talk about financial mistakes that ruin marriage, but there’s more to this story.

The biggest mistakes people make in their relationship is not having enough fun. I know, you’re thinking, “really, fun?” We all have this perception that if we can make more money, we will have more time. That’s true, but will we have more fun? For almost all whom I chat with, the answer is no. The reason, the more money you make the money you spend buying the things you feel will make your life more fun. In other words, the money cycle becomes a self-consuming life sucking vampire that hates fun. What do we spend most of our lives sadly doing? You guessed it, making money and not having fun.

I realize that we can’t just quit our jobs and start having fun. Right? What about bills and the kids and saving for x, y, and z? Like with most things in the world, balance is key. If you could conveniently and discreetly ask a relationship therapist questions about your situation would that help? They know time is already scarce and taking the time to schedule an appointment to walk to see a therapist is just not an option for you. However, if you could chat with a relationship therapist from your smartphone bouncing some ideas off of them, wouldn’t that be nice? This is what Clarapy is all about. It’s a smartphone app where we put a relationship therapist in your pocket who is there to help you when you need them most. They are your sidekick, your cut buddy who knows your situation and helps you get back to a place where your relationship is fun again.


How to Fix a Sexless Marriage

If you’ve found yourself here, you’re in the right place.  Fixing a sexless marriage has less to do with sex and more to do with the marriage itself. There are no easy answers, but according to most psychologists there are “simple” tips you can follow. What these “simple” tips don’t offer is addressing a sexless marriage requires a degree of professional help. After reviewing the 3 steps below, you can download our iOS and Android apps and speak with an expert free of charge. If you want, you can just skip to the download.

Be willing to make some changes.

First and foremost you have to be willing to make some changes. Making these changes has more to do with you than you partner.  Stop blaming them for why you aren’t having sex. The truth is, most all people want to have sex and the reasons surrounding a sexless marriage have to do with the roles of each of you. You have to take responsibility for your role in the situation. This is akin to finding your inner peace presented in “how to fix a broken relationship”. That’s in the only way you can begin to take control of the situation. What can you do better to improve the situation? If something is missing in the situation, can you fill in the blanks? Be the first to fill in the blanks. It maybe painful, but nothing can be more painful than a sexless marriage.

Set up a time free of distractions to discuss and implement your plan to fill in the blank.

Once you have identified what you can do to address your sexless marriage, it’s time to set up a time to discuss NOT the problem, but your plan to fill in the blanks. This conversation mustn’t be about not having sex, but about creating a way to improve your situation. Maybe you discuss going out for a weekend (if that’s filling in the blank). Maybe you surprise your partner with something they would like in the form of a gift, etc.  There is no right answer here other than ensuring you are doing your best to fill in the blanks. This is how you can regain some footing in how to fix a sexless marriage.