Things That Drive Men Crazy “The Check In”

As a relationship expert, I’ve spoken with many men and the problems we face in our relationships with our partners. One of the most common things I hear guys complaining about is the need to check in with their partners just because. Today I spoke with a woman who was frustrated with her partner. Her frustrations stemmed from her fiancé developing a new passion. He simply was not checking as often with infuriated her. She was so distraught about this, she gave back his engagement ring symbolically decapitating the engagement. There we sit at our perspective Internet devices chatting with one another. She’s trying to find the words to express how sorry she is and how she needs to get her fiancé back. You see her fiancé at this point wanted to take a break.

One of the biggest things that will drive a man crazy is feeling as though he has to check in with mom *cough I mean his partner. It’s one of those universal truths that us men unanimously beat their chests about. I can already hear the other side saying, “We just want to make sure you are alright. What if something happened to you? What if I needed to get a hold of you and I couldn’t?” Unfortunately, men know better, at least we think we do. We generally see it as controlling, and manipulating because our mothers have conditioned us so. Don’t get me wrong. We love our mothers (most of us anyway) and we love our partners, but “the check in” is something we fought against screaming bloody murder. Dad didn’t care if we venture out past 8 o’clock PM while mom worried about us and discouraged it.

Though the Y chromosome resisted the notion of “the check-in” I was trying to help (I will call her Melissa) the resolve the fight between her and her fiancé. I acknowledged the importance of “the check in” only if intent of control wasn’t present. It’s true, being that his fiancé is his number 1 his mind should be on her well-being even if he is haplessly embracing a new passion of his. Even though I think “the check in” was being used by Melissa in this case to say, “I want attention or else”, it does have its place in a healthy relationship. It helps strengthen communication between partners which vital.


Slow Pace Relationships

All People Have Their Own Pace

People all have their own unique pace. Some people always seem to be set on high all the time, others like the slow and steady route a little better. Having different rhythms is natural but when it comes to relationships it can cause misunderstandings. If you find yourself involved with someone who likes Slow pace relationships don’t assume it is because they aren’t interested.

That is the biggest problem people run into, someone who is a little faced pace may feel that their partner isn’t interested if they want slow pace relationships. Once you get past your own insecurities you may want to consider that taking things a little slower isn’t a bad thing… as long as you both talk and are both on the same page.

One of the big problems that many couples have is that they move too fast anyway. When you are going at top speed it is easy to miss potential problems in the relationship and it is easy to mistake lust (or just the desire for companionship) for love.

Slowing things down a little bit basically forces both of you to see the other person as they really are and not just how you want them to be. Again, another problem in relationships is that people don’t see the things that are right in front of their face. The faster you are going, the harder it is to catch your breath and see things in your relationship clearly.

All in all, there is really no downside to going at a slower pace in your relationship but you both need to remember that the two of you need to determine just what each of you means by “taking things slowly”.

One of you may think that the slow pace will only be in reference to things like moving in together or having sex. If one of you has one idea of what “slow” relates to and the other person has another idea it may lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Of course, this can happen in all aspects of your relationship, not just the speed at which you want it to move, that a perfectly innocent misunderstanding can cause a lot of trouble. The two of you really need to find a healthy way of communicating right from the very beginning of your relationship. If you can do that every aspect of your relationship will be easier if you can overcome this one skill.

If your partner wants to take things slow don’t get upset or read too much into it. Talk to them about what their expectations are and what they mean by slow. Make sure you both are on the same page and always keep the communication lines open.

Going at a slower pace will make it easier for you both to get to know each other. Getting to know each other, along with learning good communication skills, can allow you both to have a better relationship. Slow pace relationships are good, don’t get worried if your partner wants to take things slow.


A Cheating Husband Ruins The Family Bond

Cheating husbands destroy the family.

A cheating husband ruins everything he and his spouse has worked hard to build. Cheating destroys true love. This has been proven true over and over again. Think about it.

How many women would like to see their husbands in the company of another woman for the purpose of romance?

Women want exclusivity. The same goes for men.

No man will approve of his wife having an affair with another man. Men guard their wives jealousy. The same is true for women. Women guard their precious possession, their husbands, jealousy.

Since both parties want exclusivity . . . since both parties want unalloyed dedication of their mates, then each should give their love to only their spouse.

Anything short of this brings family crisis.

Don’t mind what you have been told by web sites dedicated to encouraging married men to cheat on their wives . . . sites that promote infidelity

These sites and their promoters tell men that it is cool to flirt and cheat. They tell men it is harmless fun.

Don’t believe them. These sites are up and running for two reasons.
1. To make money from your innocence and family crisis
2. To make more money.
The truth is . . . any marriage where the husband cheats on his wife eventually fails.

Cheating husbands . . .

  • Betray their wives’ trust.
  • Throw away their wives investment in commitment and dedication
  • Put their wives in a position of uncertainty.
  • Your wife is unsure where your loyalty belong.
  • To her or to your mistress.

Cheating breeds distrust and a feeling of worthlessness and loss in your spouse. If the cheating husband does not stop, the collapse of the marriage is just a few steps away. It will blow up in his face sooner than later. Husbands, love your wives.

The appeal of the young girls who are substantially more beautiful than your wife is a temptation that is not worth the trouble.

If you go ahead and cheat on your wife, you open a wound that will be difficult to heal. Years later, your relationship will still be struggling in the throws of the illicit affair.

If you want more beauty out of your wife, invest in her.

If you want more education out of her, make the needed investment.

You love your wife. Don’t throw that love away for one moment of pleasure.

A husband who cheats on his wife throws love to the wind. And guess what? His sins return to hurt him.

If you are a cheating husband, it is time to stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Your wife and kids deserve the best from you.

Give them the very best and you will be happy.


The Things Men Do To Get Women

The Art of Seduction

The art of seduction is a game many men have perfected. They play it so well that they can get just about any girl to fall into their waiting arms.

Seduction is a term that carries a negative connotation. It often implies “tuning” a person, usually of the opposite sex, to accept you using trickery or pretense.

The art of seduction is really art because it takes skill, discernment, forethought, and a bit of ingenuity to anticipate the prey’s next move and counter it with a winning strategy.

Seduction is about strategy – it is the things men do to get women. I want to share the art of seduction, the things men do to get you, with you so you know when you’re being staged for seduction by a man.

The Things Men Do To Get You

Many men are just playboys. They want just one thing . . . to get you to bed.

These playboys will do anything and promise anything to be with you. They look genuine. But they’re either in for the money (if you’re rich) or in for the bed action.

It usually starts like this.

You meet for the first time and he says, “Hi. Your face looks kind of familiar”.

You look at him and can’t remember meeting him. So you say, “Really?”

And he says, “Yeah.” And proceeds to ask some questions to determine where you met before.

He says, “Were you at Harvard last session?”

You reply, “No”.

“Did you live anywhere around New York city?”

Again your answer is “No”.

He may ask several other questions and of course, your answer will be “No” because you have never really met before. The art of seduction master is simply at work.

Then he says, “I can’t quite place my finger on it. But I’m sure we’ve met before. In any case, it’s a pleasure meeting you. My name is Franklin. What is yours?”

I understand that the above approach is now old-school. The “sharp guys” have polished the system and now have a more piercing approach.

The result?

The art of seduction guys really get to you.

They get you smiling . . . and falling . . . before you realize it. Next thing, you’re exchanging phone numbers and addresses.

This is the art of seduction. You see it played out in movies quite often. But that’s exactly what happens in real life day in day out.

Right at this very moment . . . as you read this line . . . thousands of girls the world over are falling in love. The smart guys are capturing their heart and starting a love relationship with the art of seduction.

Let me outline the steps.

1. You meet and exchange addresses or phone numbers

2. He invites you to lunch

3. He invites you to a movie or a famous game

4. He visits you at home

5. He invites you to a party

6. He invites you to his home

7. He buys you a present

8. He starts with a hug and you hold hands longer than necessary

9. Next, he gives you a peck on your cheek

10. Next, you start kissing

11. Then he gives you an engagement ring so you get the feeling it’s going to be a permanent love relationship

12. He begins to pet you. His hands begin to touch your private places. (He’s testing your willingness to go further.)

13. If you display some resistance, he works further on convincing you of the genuineness of his love

14. He penetrates further into you, digging deep.

(The art of seduction is at work!)

15. You succumb fully in the belief that he’s in love with you and he’s 100 percent yours

16. Sooner or later he begins to play games with you.

    • He misses his appointment with you
    • He’s working late so he stands you up
    • He complains about your looks
    • He won’t pick your calls

17. He’s seeing someone else. He has found a new catch who needs all his attention. He has gone to bed with you several times. Now you don’t excite him anymore. There’s nothing more to see.

18. You’re broken hearted. The art of seduction playboy just broke your heart.

The fine gentleman who is a playboy is not ready to settle down yet. So when a love relationship begins to get serious, he steps back to start afresh with someone else.

He wants the excitement and thrill of a love relationship. But he does not want the responsibilities.

Men who are serious about settling down also follow the same steps outlined in the art of seduction menu above except that the disciplined and cultured ones won’t rush you to bed.

Obviously, you want a serious love relationship with a man who loves you and who will stick with you forever. (Not with some art of seduction playboy.)

So, how do you tell the difference between a player and a genuine guy when they all look alike?

Start by removing romance and sex from the equation. Those two are the primary objective of men who have perfected the art of seduction.

Second, always bring up practical issues . . . issues that married people talk about. Plan for the things married people deal with everyday.

  • How many kids are you going to have?
  • What home are you going to live?
  • Will you have to work?
  • When will you meet his parents?
  • When will you meet his siblings?
  • When will your wedding be?
  • Does he have morals? Believe in God? Does he love God?
  • Does he love children?
  • Does he love people? What has he done for someone lately?
  • Does he love you?
  • How has his plans for the future changed since he met you?
  • Where do you come into the picture?. . . and stuff like that.

Playboys who just want a fling will consider you old-fashioned and damn too serious. They just want a fling not something serious.Naturally, they will take their leave.

Don’t fall for a playboy. It will break your heart when he abandons you for another woman.

Use the tips above to determine if a man who have started a love relationship with is worth keeping.


For Love Or Money – Beware of Money Crazy Men

Beware of Money Crazy Men

Are you in for love or money?
Relationships are meant to last. But money crazy lovers are in for the short run. They are in for the money. They want cold hard cash and nothing more.

Once these money crazy lovers lay their hands on your money, they are out the front door. So, be wary of them.

I can’t say that enough.

But how do you know if the man you are courting right now is in for love or money? Well, you can be sure he won’t tell you he’s in love with your money and not you. However, people who love money are not difficult to identify unless, of course, you choose to play blind.

Lovers of money tend to . . .

  • Always talk about money or material things. They can’t hide for long what their real motives are.
  • Ask questions relating to how you make your money and keep popping up the question every now and then.
  • Live expensively
  • Have lofty eyes. They always want the latest model or newest version of something No matter how rich you are, it pays you to keep a low profile when courting a man.
  • Eat in modest restaurants constantly
  • Let him pay when you eat out
  • Do not give him money. Make it appear you have less money than the public think you have.
  • Establish a policy of “no lose cash to pick here. We work for what we have”.
  • Keep it simple. Establish that you want things simple and unassuming. Men trying to cash in on your money cannot keep a modest life with you for too long. Soon they will begin to wonder if you really have the money they expect to inherit when they marry you.

Pushed to the wall, your money crazy man who is in for the money will be forced to ask about your financial status . . . about your money. He may ask the question casually, but his tone will usually give him away.

For love or money . . . no need for you to ask him that question. His sin will find him out. Here’s why you should be concerned whether your man is in for love or money.

Men who are money crazy will do anything to lay their hands on your money. You have heard stories of men who kill their wives to lay hold on their money or some insurance claims.

Men who are money lovers, men who are money crazy, are usually cold hearted and deadly.

Don’t mind the smiles and sweet romantic talk. It’s all part of the big act to win your trust and confidence. They strike like deadly serpent once they lay hold of your money.

So you should really be concerned about the status of the man you are in love with.

Is he in for love or money?

If he is a lover of money, have nothing to do with him.

Fire him and go in search of true love.

Honestly, love is the greatest. Don’t settle for anything less.


Boy Love – Is Your Boyfriend In Love With You?

Boy love is not hard to find when you’re a pretty girl.

Now you have a boyfriend. You want to settle down. But does he really love you? Why should you care? Really, you should care.


Simple. Everything rises and falls on love. Love is the very essence of love relationships.

If love is missing, the relationship is worthless. It pays you more to continue living single than to be caught up in a loveless relationship.

But then, how do you know if your boy love . . . your boyfriend’s love . . . is true love?

No doubt, there is an avalanche of information on how to tell if your man’s love is true love.

But honestly, many of those love sites are filled with nothing but theory.

I prefer to be realistic.

We’re talking about your future here, you know. Anything short of realistic, down-to-earth practicable and doable approach is useless.

Enough of the grammar.

So, how do you tell if your boy love is genuine?

Hey, wait.

Has he really told you he loves you?

That is a good starting point.


Well, many girls think the man they’re dating, their boyfriend, is in love with them without actually asking him. There have been cases when a boy tells a girl he has been going out with for months, “I didn’t say I love you. I simply said I like you?”

So the guy leaves and the girl is heart broken.

But wait a minute. Is there any difference between ‘likeness’ and love? Is “I love you” the same thing as “I like you”?

Many girls assume they mean the same thing and so stake their future with a man who tells them “I like you”.

You’re making a mistake if you think they mean the same thing.

Likeness is different from love.

When a man likes you it means he enjoys being with you because, perhaps, you have some things in common and he likes your carriage or approach to issues.

He likes the way you walk. He likes the way you smile. He likes the way you deal with people. He likes the fact that you’re smart and intelligent.

But does he love you? Maybe, maybe not.

Why so?

Well, love is a deeper feeling. Love is deeper than likeness.

When your boyfriend loves you, he spends more time with you. He’s anxious to be with you. He wants to spend his life with you. He feels guilty if he’s with someone else. He’s willing to sacrifice everything for you. His heart belongs to you.

Your boy love, your boyfriend love, is for you and you alone if he wants to spend his life with you despite your weaknesses or shortcomings.

A man who recognizes your weaknesses and decides to live with them loves you.

Let’s summarize this.

Question: How do you know your boy love is for you? How do you know your boyfriend loves you?

Answer: Ask him this simple question. “Do you love me?”

Let him say it. Do not assume your boy love is for you because he has been your boyfriend for four years or more.

Question: Why should you care that your boyfriend loves you or not?

Answer: Because love is the very essence of having a relationship.

Question: So how do you know your boyfriend loves you?

Answer: Test him. Use my practical true love quiz to test if your boy love, your boyfriend love is for you or someone else.

Boys are very good with the art of seduction and pretense. They can sweet talk you into believing anything simply to get you where they want you. So be careful.

Do not stake your life with a man unless you’re absolutely sure he’s your ideal man. Be absolutely sure he loves you. Be absolutely sure this boy love is for you and you alone.

Whether you’re a pretty girl or not, boys will come looking for you. It’s a natural thing. Opposites attract each other.

However, before you commit everything you’ve got to your boyfriend, make sure the boy love is genuine. Make sure he truly loves you.


Love Don’t Cost A Thing – Or Does It?

Love Doesn’t Cost A Thing – Or
Does It?

True love don’t cost a thing. Actually it does cost something. Don’t be fooled. You can’t fall in love and stay in love without paying the price.

So, what price are you prepared to pay for love?
Some women pay with their career.

Many of these women had a passion for their career. They started out well. They went to high school, bagged a degree from an international university, and got themselves a high paying job.

Somewhere along the line, they fell in love. They got married. They had kids.
Thereafter, things got really tough.

The job was taking too much of their time. They had little time for the husband and the kids. And they see a gap opening in the relationship and widening.

It’s the job, their career, or their husband and kids.

The choice was difficult to make. But eventually they gave up their cherished career and settled for love . . . love for their husbands and love for their kids.

Love don’t cost a thing.

Did I hear you say that?
Well, the truth is . . . love does cost something.

It may cost you . . .

  • Your career
  • Your hobby
  • Your independence
  • Your parent or entire family
    Even your life. (A young woman lost her mother and face to the bullets of her fiancee. She was ‘lucky’. Some women are killed by their boyfriends and husbands – terrible).

Are you still of the opinion that love don’t cost a thing?

Obviously, love has a price.

Falling in love can be pretty expensive. It can make you better, happier or sad and depressed. Love can ruin your life.

Put more correctly . . . misdirected love can ruin your life.

The truth is . . .

Even true love cost something. The difference is that true love is overwhelmingly beautiful and fulfilling. True love is enriching and satisfying. True love makes life worth living. True love is forever.

The challenge is how to find true love. And more importantly, how not to confuse false love for true love.
False love ruins their owners. True love builds and makes their owners better.

My advice?

Fall in love with the right person. Marry only the right man. Do not fall in love with the wrong man. Do not pursue a love relationship that is destined to fail. Falling in love with the wrong guy can ruin your life.

Love don’t cost a thing. Yet it does cost something.
Are you prepared to give what it takes to keep a love relationship? If not, fire your man and move on. You deserve better.


Punished Husband – The Dilemma of Husband Discipline By Wife

A Punished Husband

A punished husband is a man with a wife who believes in husband discipline. She grew up believing that the breadwinner should be the boss. And since she has become the breadwinner because the man lost his job, she believes she should dictate the pace in the home. Alternatively, it may be a hereditary thing.

She may have inherited the habit from her mom who was always at loggerhead with her father. She may have witnessed her mother bully her father to submission. So much so that her mother always got what she wanted from her father.

The result?

A woman who grew up believing in husband discipline and determined to make her husband a punished husband.
There is a third possibility.

She may have been taught good manners in relation to love relationship. You may be the product of a stable marriage but who got her head brainwashed by bad company.

Yes, she may actually come from a family where love flourished but then got her mind messed up by women freedom organizations who believe that men’s domination of women is enough.

Their solution?

To retaliate and dominate men by making their husbands a punished husband.

“Yes to husband discipline!” they scream.

There is even a fourth possibility . . . internet sites that preach female domination of males as sport or as entertainment – a pleasurable release.

These sites are sponsored by sexually depraved individuals who have found the net as an uninhibited medium to express evil thoughts and inclinations.
The concept of punished husband and husband discipline may appeal to a small part of you that believe that this has been a man’s world for far too long and it’s about time women took over.

Yes, it may appeal to that subconscious part of you. But is it right?

So this powerful woman dominates her husband. She’s the boss. She bullies her husband. He does her every bidding. After that, what?
Again I ask, is she right?

Obviously the answer is . . . NO.

Why No?

Simple answer . . . it’s unnatural, it’s against the nature of men.

So, she has succeeded at husband discipline. Her husband is now a punished husband. But is she happy?

Absolute Not!


Simple answer . . . she can’t believe in him anymore. He becomes like dirt. She seeks a stronger man outside.


Simple answer . . . she wasn’t divinely created to boss her husband. So she does not feel fulfilled when she does.

My advice?

Love your husband. Respect him and work with him.

If deep down in your heart you know you cannot respect a man enough to allow him lead the way, don’t get into a love relationship with him because you will find it disgusting to take orders from him. And that will ruin your happiness and his.

Want to live happily ever after?

Reject the concept of punished husband and husband discipline.

Love your husband. Respect him.


Marriage Fights – Who wins?

Marriage Fights – Round 1

Marriage fights are inevitable nobody is going to get along all the time. Some fights will be full of drama and others just petty little arguments. How you handle both is crucial if you want your marriage to last. You can’t expect to win every fight!

That’s right, sometimes you will be the loser and you need to be okay with that. If not, you may have a pride problem. People with pride issues have to be right all the time.

Pride can be a relationship killer and is the enemy and not a friend. Not being able to admit to being wrong in a marriage can result in unresolved conflict. This can escalate into resentment, which is an underlying anger that simmers and never gets put to rest.

To resolve marriage fights you need to keep an open mind to solutions and see things from the other person’s point of view. It’s a matter of having respect for their thoughts and feelings. In other words, it can’t be all about you. Their opinion matters too!

Both people involved in a marriage fight or conflict need to be honest about their role in the argument. Throwing blame and being in denial will not resolve anything.

Good old fashioned honest communication is what will resolve marital fights no matter how mad both of you are. Both of you must analyze your motive, behavior and actions.

If need be get a third party who can be objective such as a pastor, counselor or therapist. Sometimes well meaning family members only make matters worse.

Keep in mind that serious marriage fights can be a wake up call to get both of you to resolve issues that have been brewing for months or years.

Lastly, stay positive and believe for the best. Negativity needs to be avoided like pride and resentment. Those three are a recipe for divorce!


How To Get Over A Broken Heart

How To Get Over A Broken Heart – Not Easy Yet Not Difficult Either

Pining away for your lost love? Don’t. There are better things to do in life than cribbing and whining. Don’t worry. As a popular saying goes “You don’t die from broken heart; you only wish you did.”

Here are ways of getting over a broken heart. During the first stage you will definitely experience gnawing pain and desperation.

You will feel bitter and angry towards the world and there will be sleepless nights too.

There will also be a phase where you will miss the person terribly. You will overanalyze, blame yourself and start drinking or withdrawing yourself from the world.

But don’t worry. This too will pass. Just as two hands are required for clapping, for a relationship to succeed or fail both are equally responsible.

So stop blaming yourself and just take a break. Head out to some hill or take a vacation. Remember you are a free bird now and so just enjoy yourself.

Stop over analyzing things and do remind yourself that there will always be unanswered questions. Take lessons from this bitter experience and just move on.

Remind yourself that things will never be the same again and accept it.

If you still worry or criticize yourself then write down your problems or better still share your feelings with a friend. When you have a friend’s shoulder to cry on life looks a bit better.

Next get engaged proactively in activities. In other words keep yourself busy. When your mind is engaged in activities you will stop brooding over it.

Take care of yourself. It’s NOT easy to stop eating and be depressed. But this takes a heavy toll on your health. So eat a healthy diet and sleep well if you can. Also, there are therapists and counselors you can speak with here.

Whenever you start blaming yourself and brood over your negative traits call up your friend. Ask him or her to remind you of your good qualities. Last but not the least time is the greatest healer.

So let time do its healing on you. Who knows love may come again in your life. Till then just let go and face life as it comes.

If you think there is hope for saving your relationship, check out our section on how to get your ex back.