Is He A Feminine Husband Or, Are You A Masculine Wife?

Which is it? Is He A Feminine Husband Or… Are You A Masculine Wife?

Many women complain about their feminine husband. So, what could be triggering husbands to take the feminine role in the relationship?
As you may be aware, western societies often pressure men to become more sensitive, while women are nurtured to become more independent. So, is it surprising  to see feminine husbands and masculine wives? If you feel that your husband is becoming feminine, it’s time to step back and analyze the dynamics of your whole relationship.

Ask yourself the following questions?

  • Is he the one who gets emotional and overwhelmed with problems while you are the one who has to come up with the solutions?
  • Could it be that you are somehow adopting the masculine role encouraging him to adopt the feminine?
  • Could it be the other way around?

There aren’t simple answers to this complex dynamic, but one thing we can say for sure is:

When one of the partners takes a role in the relationship, the other partner unconsciously takes the opposite. If you’re a very feminine woman and remain the same in your marriage, your husband will likely become very masculine. The reverse could also happen, if for some reason you become masculine in your behavior, as a reaction, he would become feminine in his. People really don’t realize this, but our actions cause an equal and opposite reaction on our partner.

Men becoming more nice and sensitive and women becoming more independent and strong facilitate this interchange in their roles in the relationship. The question here would be if you are happy with this new arrangement.

If you feel uncomfortable having a feminine husband, do your part and get back to your feminine nature. Don’t worry about trying to convince him of any change in your relationship, just be feminine and he will become masculine, it is just nature!

If you would like more marriage advice, go here.


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Relationship Tips For Women That You Need To Know

The Best Relationship Tips For Women, So Listen Up!

It’s not easy being a woman. How can we expect relationship advice to be any easier for us. Below we’ve compiled a list of simple yet effective relationship tips for women that will nurture your inner goddess while attracting men you are looking for.

Know Pleasure
To give pleasure, you must know and appreciate pleasure. Only in knowing your own pleasure, can you share pleasure with another person. Celebrate life now in every way and enjoy.

Wet Your Own Appetite
How blessed we are to be women. We inspire one another by sharing the good things in our lives and our accomplishments. We learn that by asking we will receive. Know your desires and invite the fulfillment of them into your life. Create a desire list.

Have Fun No Matter What
Pay attention to your joy and invite more into your life. When you are having fun you glow. Promise yourself to do one pleasurable thing for yourself everyday.

Develop the Art of Sensual Pleasure
When you own your sensuality the world opens to you. You awaken your potential for more confidence and joy. You glow and it shows in every way. And nothing is more attractive than a happy glowing female. Give yourself pleasure.

Enjoy Flirting
Flirtation lightens the spirit, gets you out of a jam, and puts a smile on your face and another’s. It eases communication and opens the door for more opportunities and fun. It has a way of melting arguments and helps us see the lighter side of life. Have fun flirting your delightful way.

Own Your True Beauty
You were born to be beautiful. It is your responsibility to learn how to enhance your natural magnificence inside and out. Loving your self expands your sense of being grand and enhances your own splendor. Your moods can either emphasize you looking your worst or accent you looking absolutely gorgeous. Choose a positive attitude and look radiant.

Own Your Dark Side
Look at your own vulnerability. There is always room for growth. If you don’t recognize your weaknesses, how can you venture on the path to becoming all that you are meant to be? You are a flower in bloom and every day you open up just a little bit more and become even more beautiful. Be true to yourself.

Don’t Blame Men
The responsibility for your pleasure is yours. Know what you want, communicate your desires, show your deep appreciation, and praise the outcome. Treasure yourself first and then show someone else how to treasure you.

Invite Abundance
Through creative visualization and positive feeling vibrations, you can have all that you desire. No dream is too big. If you can think it, you deserve to have it and you can achieve it. Dream BIG!

If you some of these relationship tips for women resonate with you, please check out our women’s advice that take action section.


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Ways To Get Your Boyfriend Back

Ways To Get Your Boyfriend Back; Easy Does It

ways to get your boyfriend back
The best ways to get your boyfriend back

There are many ways to get your boyfriend back, some are more effective than others. One thing is clear, you know you want your boyfriend back; and for whatever reason you broke up you feel that it could still work out. Losing a relationship is tough, whatever the reason but it does not have to be the end. If things were meant to work out they will but having patience may be the key to solving your current relationship woes. The first of the ways to get your boyfriend back is going to be to look at if you really do want him back, or you’re just lonely for anyone. A former boyfriend can be a safe, secure, and comfortable haven that you have turned to many times in the past and wanting that secure feeling back is understandable, but is it really him you want or just that comfort. Was your relationship good enough that it really needs to be salvaged or are you looking at the good times without remembering how many fights and bad times there were?

Now that you have decided that you really do want them back it is time to look into actual ways to get your boyfriend back. Your boyfriend was obviously attracted to you at some point, so you have to remind him of this and make him remember why he wanted you in the first place. Think about how your behavior towards him has changed in the time your relationship lasted and try and go back to the beginning when you were still new and exciting. Be seductive. At the same time being new and exciting can also help jog his memory. Wearing new clothes, doing some things that are a little outside of your comfort zone, and generally making him think you are moving on will make him think about you as a person again and not necessarily as his ex.

Of all the ways to get your boyfriend back the one that is messed up the most if the initial contact after the break up. It might be too late for this, however it is also where many go wrong. If you start calling them the moment the words that “it’s over” are said they are unlikely to want to consider dating you again, in fact they may decide they never want to and run the other way. Even if he was the one who initiated the break up chances are he still has feelings for you. When you finally get to talk to each other it is important to remain calm and focused, asking general conversation questions may seem like avoiding the issue but as said before pushing will generally not get the desired results. Though it may seem frustrating one of the best ways to get your boyfriend back is simply to be patient.

boyfriend is back with me
My boyfriend is back with me

The third thing is finding out if he cares still before wasting any time and energy really going after them. If they still seem affectionate or interested it might be obvious, but if you are unsure just ask them how they feel about you. It is important that they don’t feel cornered so often putting this in an email or other written form will give them the space to respond when they are ready. The answer might initially be a no so be ready for that and as long as they are comfortable being friends consider going out for a friendly activity with no pressure. If they still say no you may need to back off and reevaluate if they are truly still interested. Take a little time to let things cool before trying again, and certainly don’t mention it every time you see each other.

If things just don’t seem to be going anywhere and he has made it clear that he has moved on then it may just not be your choice anymore. Sometimes relationships cannot be salvaged regardless of how many ways to get your boyfriend back that you try, but just remember to be patient.


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How To Change Your Man When You’ve Exhausted All

How To Change Your Man Permanently?

There are many women out there who have tried every conceivable idea to change their man. The process is tiresome, frustrating, and downright maddening at times. While their intentions may be good, the very problem is that they are trying to do something that is not achievable (how to change your man).

Trying to change a man is not only impossible, but also likely part of whatever problem you are experiencing in the relationship. Learn alternatives from feeling like it is your job to change him, and you will likely find the relationship to be much more satisfactory. Moreover, you may actually find that the relationship is healthier overall. When a relationship is healthier, you may find a natural change in him. Before you go on, check out common relationship problem section if you feel inclined to.

Men Are Not Dogs nor from Mars

how to change your man
how to change your man

A common misconception is thrown around far too often regarding men. To put it bluntly, men are neither dogs nor from mars. While most people will say, “Of course they aren’t. Nobody thinks that.

It is the mantra that many times we internalize. When we internalize the concept of men being like dogs or from mars, we then may begin to treat them like they need to be modified. This is a dangerous mindset to have with your man.

Why is it dangerous? It is dangerous because it causes you to start treating him as something that needs to be bettered or changed. While nobody is saying men (or your man in particular) are perfect, you also should not treat him as something that must be trained.

Doing so makes your man on a subliminal lower peg than you. He will note the general tone when you speak to him in such a manner. Everybody knows how it feels to be talked down to, and it is never fun. So do not treat your man as a dog or an alien that must “be taught the proper values.” Instead, understand that men work on a slightly different wavelength, but are generally the same in their wants, desires, and needs. It is not your job to change them.

The Perfect Girlfriend Tactic Does Not Work

If you are trying to change your man, chances are you went through a phase of trying to be perfect. You may, in fact, still be in that phase. Here is a little secret, changing yourself to change him is ridiculous. If you have to change who you are in order to get what you want out of him… then you are not really change him. Trying to change you man in this way doesn’t work.

All that has happened is that you are misleading him into a false sense of who you are. There is nothing to be gained from these mind games. It is also simply wasted energy. When you begin to act more attentive and caring, men do not see it as a sign that they should start acting better. Usually, they will simply note the change and go on with their general day.

This may be a frustrating fact for some to heart, but it is true. It is one of the positives of men, however. Because if you are angry or stressed for long periods, men will react in much the same way. Men are accustomed to navigating the hills and valleys of female emotions. When you begin to act positively, they simply thank their lucky stars and try not to move too much in fear of ruining it.

Communicate What You Want

It is no secret men are rarely great at communicating. Nevertheless, women can be cryptic as well. What you think is straightforward may not be at all to a man. If you are trying to change your man, you might as well be straightforward about it.

Men respond to direct actions. Men, in general, respond to logic and valid arguments. If you become emotional with your wants and desires, men often begin to withdraw from the conversation. If you make straightforward and abrupt points, men will often be able to respond.

Therefore, when you have a want or desire from your man, the best action is to simply let him know. Do not yell at him in anger or be rude with your want. Simply state what you want with as little emotion as possible. The reason being that emotion will distract him from being direct back.

Your man may not always respond in the way that you want. He may be blunt about not wanting the same thing you do. When this happens, it is important not to lose your focus on keeping emotion out of the equation. Think of your partner as a telemarketer that you have on the phone.

If you yell or lose your temper in ANY way, you can expect him to hang up. You simply need to get your point across and he needs to hear it. He may be resistant at first. Give him time and have faith that he will eventually hear what it is that you are saying. If your relationship is strong, he will likely be willing to try to adhere to some of your wants.

You Can’t Change Him, but He Can Change

While you cannot change your man, the fact is that he can and may change. If you use proper communication tactics and are honest and kind, you may just get what you want. Often, when women want change, it is for the relationship to take the next step.

When your man is not ready, he simply is not ready. The best way to bring him around to changing is by understanding he has to do it on his own time. Communicate with him what you want. Even if he is closed off to it for the time being, he will keep that want in mind.

If he is truly unable to want the same thing, he will let you know. If he is able to change, he will make the effort in due time. Just remember that it is not you changing him. It is him changing on his own.

Are you a woman that takes action in your relationship? Check out the section if so.


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Why Do Men Lie? The Simple and Direct Answer

Simple and Direct: Why Do Men Lie?

Women always ask the same question – “why do men lie?” “Why does my man lie to me that he has a work thing when clearly he is not at work!” Then a follow up statement ensues – “He is cheating on me!” Oops, miss, hold your horses. A lying man is not always a cheating man but there is great likelihood that he is depending on the lies. It is not a 100% foolproof reason though.

A man lying
A man lying

Men lie for a variety of reasons. What women believe to be shallow is a very valid reason on why men lie. The root of it all is fear. They lie because they fear the outcome of telling the truth.

So to avoid “problems” due to “honesty”, men tell a little (or big) white lie so that they are no more issues afterwards. And no matter how forceful women are about communicating to a man – “Tell the truth, always, please, even if it hurts!”, they are not born that way. This is what women have to understand in order to have a sane life. Stressing about why men lie is a wasted energy.

Now, I have interviewed 9 men of different backgrounds in life who told me the main reason (for them) as to why they lie to the woman they love. Bear in mind: LIE TO THE WOMAN THEY LOVE. It means that a lying man loves their woman very deeply but can still manage to lie. So it is not about not loving their wife, partner, or girlfriend.

They also lie to their mother, sister, cousin, aunt, friend and the list goes on. They are just being coward men. The sad fact is that, men lie because they are born that way. They cannot help it. To those who can, they have practiced the art of honesty and in reality, the statistics of honest men is one out of one million. Seriously.

Moving on, here are 3 common reasons these nine men told me, more or less. I have taken the three vividly explained answers to me and I am attempting to make all women understand why their men lie so they can do something about it!

For lying guy number one…

(Paul, 18 year old part time student assistant, taking up Information Technology at the local University and is still single, dating and looking for the right one, as he says)

“I used to have a girlfriend who broke up with me because of my lying to her. I told her on several occasions that I am at work. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT HER FEELINGS and blow her off. So I tell her something valid – I am working even if I am playing my Diablo games online with some buddies. Hey, I need alone time too, you know. But I really like her. I told her one time that I cannot hang out with her because I want to play and she was so hurt with that. So I never did it again. But she broke it off anyway.”

“I do not want to want to hurt her feeling by telling the truth. Women are like soap opera series. They love dramatic encounters. So if a woman is hurt because of the truth, men react to it as: Ok, next time, no more honesty crap. I will lie. I will tell her nothing so that she will not get hurt.”

Men think differently. It is always compartmentalizing things – Win or lose. Victory or defeat. Good or bad. And lying is good if hurting is bad. Lying is winning when if hurting is losing. They do not want tears. And with that, with lying, they can sleep at night because they know that you are sleeping well too.

For lying guy number two…

(Joe, 23 years old, Gasoline station attendant, still living with his mom and has a girlfriend)

why do men lie
why do men lie

“Sob, sob, sob. You don’t love me anymore. You hate me. I see you looking at other women. Why are you not here? Blah blah blah, DRAMA. I CANNOT TAKE IT. I just tell my girlfriend every time she asks for me and is acting like a baby that I have to do some overtime at work. Where I go? Far from her when she is in her drama mode. Yeah, I know, I am a jerk sometimes but too much emotional encounters depresses me.”

Men are not good at being emotional. It is a struggle for them. Women, on the other hand, are emotional beings. So it is very easy to cry and talk about almost anything dramatic. You have to understand that men are never going to be that way but they do deal with their troubles and pains in another way – a way women will never know. Now, to avoid dramatic encounters, they just lie. They want an easy life, not a life filled with pains. Crying is pain.

For lying guy number three…

(Michael, 38 years old, Business owner, married for 8 years and father of 2)

“I am a husband and a father. I cannot make my family see that I have weaknesses and that I can break down at any time. I have to lie to protect my image and my pride. I have insecurities and I do not want to burden my wife with it. I keep it to myself until I am ready to go home and act as if everything is fine with me. I tell her that I am at the office or with a client if the issue comes up and haunts me. I have cheated once or twice which I do not want to repeat again because I love my wife and I think of my two girls. So, in my down times, I hide in my office, sleep at my brother’s guest house and wake up in time to go home at night or drive to the next city and back. I cannot show to her that I am weak. I just can’t”

Oh well, pride. Men are perceived to be so strong – the knight in shining armor. But they are just human. Even they themselves fail to see it and they deny their shortcomings in character and abilities. Again, this is a “man” thing.  They will rather lie to women than to let them see who they really are which is sad.

So here are 3 common reasons on why do men lie. As women, we may not like it. As men, we say, “Yes, that is me!”. But a lie is still a lie. Even if you commit it for the right reasons, it will always bite back at you. Lying will create a lot of troubles for you in the future. So there you have it, now you have some perspective into why do men lie.

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An Easier Way To Stop Your Divorce 

Stop Your Divorce?

Never, not even in your wildest dreams, did you imagine that one day you would be trying, rather desperately, to stop your divorce.

Your thoughts keep making that agonizing journey to the most memorable day of your life, your wedding. Here was a couple that was made for each other, that vowed to stay together at every stage of this beautiful relationship- as man and wife, as a doting and responsible father and a mother to their children and finally, as gracefully ageing grandparents.

But today, your spouse seems to have distanced himself from you and his family, and argues ad nauseam that separation is virtually unavoidable.

It certainly is a cause for concern. But you stand firm and refuse to support him in his intentions, and try to give this fledging marriage one last chance. It’s never too late to stop your divorce, remember.

As parents, don’t you owe your child this much, you ask?

Moreover, as a forward-thinking woman, you feel you have every right to know why you’re being penalized for no fault of yours. So you try every conceivable trick in the book to help bring that spark into your vapid existence.

From seeking not-so-cheap advice from matrimonial counseling experts and guidance from unintelligible eBooks to meditation and yoga, you still don’t seem to be free from the agony. You are still groping in the dark about how to stop a divorce.

Myths About Marriage 

Okay, yours was a marriage that was enveloped in a rose-tinted cloud. It had all the trappings of love, passion, companionship and romance woven rather elaborately into it.

So if yours was a match made in heaven, where on earth did the how-do-I-stop-my-divorce thoughts come from?

Most marriages fall apart simply because they stagger under the burden of colossal expectations. The lack of communication and diminishing respect between partners acts as the trigger.

Niggling problems escalate into major arguments and all hell breaks loose. And before you even know it, you have fallen prey to the guiles of a nifty divorce lawyer.

If you feel divorce is the only way you can liberate yourself from the constraints of a claustrophobic relationship, then you are way off the mark.

In all cases, this extreme step only causes more agony and hurt. And the physical and mental trauma that your children go through is simply indescribable.

Time For Introspection

It might seem quaint, but before you decide to end that thorny relationship, it’s important to do some introspection. Here are some questions that you need to ask yourself very sincerely:

  • Why are you trying so hard to save your marriage? Are your earnest efforts guided solely by the fear of loneliness and frustration, or is it something more deep-rooted? You must ascertain the real reason behind your actions.
  • Are you being consumed by a feeling of guilt? Are you feeling responsible for the pain and anguish that you would be causing to your distraught partner? You must try to reason if your guilt is responsible for any change in your decision to take a divorce.
  • Gauge the reaction from the other end: If your partner is supportive of your efforts of stalling the divorce proceedings, it certainly gives your initiative a much-needed shot in the arm. But if he/she seems to maintain a detached character, then you must try and understand the reason for the same. This will help you arrive at a more plausible solution to this contentious issue.
  • What the future holds? Will your life be as gloomy or will things improve if you stop the divorce? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with your spouse? The answers to these questions are vital in your attempt to patch things up.
  • Act now: Once you have decided about your future course of action, it’s time to set the ball rolling. If you are convinced that seeking a divorce is inevitable, then you must achieve your aim with maturity and dignity. But if you feel that preventing a breakup deserves a full-on shot, then it’s time to pull out all the stops and stop your divorce.

Save Your Relationship With <Fill in the blank> So you are going to stop at nothing in an attempt to save your long-standing relationship. But while doing so, make sure you do not lose your self-respect.

Most people try to resurrect their failed marriage by begging or pleading. This, quite honestly, makes you look awful, and only inspires a feeling of pity. It will, on the contrary, push your disgruntled partner farther away.

Instead, do your bit with strength and confidence. Make the most of your time by indulging in constructive activities that give your morale a tremendous boost.

When your spouse sees you having a life of your own that’s devoid of his/her presence, his hostile attitude is sure to undergo a sea change.

And you would have managed to save your relationship rather admirably. Hopefully, you will live happily ever after.


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How To Get Your Ex Husband Back, The Easy Way!

How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

Is divorce the end all and be all of your marriage?  On paper it is, but in reality, it is not.  No marriage is made in heaven but no marriage should end in divorce, either.  That’s because no one in his or her right mind gets married with the purpose of divorcing later.  So, although you have been recently divorced or are in the process of being divorced, can you still get your ex-husband (or soon to be ex) back?  The answer is YES and we will show you how to get your ex husband back.

Usually disputes, arguments, disagreements that lead to divorce stem from some form of unfulfilled expectation in one or both spouses.  Think about it.  Whether it is a minor thing like the husband staying out late or a major problem like the wife’s gambling habit, it will lead to arguments or disagreements because one partner has certain expectations of the other that is not fulfilled.  The wife expects her husband to be responsible enough to come home at a reasonable time but he does not fulfill her expectation.  The husband expects the wife to be more self-controlled and not waste all their money gambling but his wife does not fulfill his expectations.

So the key to getting your ex-husband back is to know what he expects and fulfill them.  Better yet, do more than what is expected of you.  If you are already divorced or are in the process of being divorced, you might not be able to speak to your ex-husband freely.  Nevertheless, you can still find out what your ex-husband’s expectations are by looking at how the disagreements happened in your marriage.  Where did the expectations fail to be met?  Take time to think and review your marriage in this area.  It is crucial to discover as many areas where expectations were not met as possible.

The next step is to focus on yourself and what role you played in not fulfilling your ex-husband’s expectations.  Of course, some of those expectations are unreasonable, but there are probably many that are valid and you should consider them.  It is important that you change in the areas where your husband’s expectations are not met by you.  Change to comply with his expectations.  If you do this, it will lead on to the next important thing and that is to meet your ex-husband’s needs.

Expectations stem from needs, especially in a marriage.  You need companionship, relationship, someone to talk to, help in household chores etc so you expect your husband to meet those needs and rightfully so.  Likewise, your ex-husband has his needs for support, encouragement, praise, cooperation, understanding, loyalty etc and he looks to you for it.  So if you can identify where you can better meet his needs, you stand a great chance of getting your ex-husband back.

All these spell change.  You must change first before expecting your ex-husband to change.  I know from experience that a man will do anything for a woman who meets his needs, especially emotional needs (and I’m not just talking about sex). Once you change, your ex-husband will change, too and you can get him back into your arms where he belongs.

We offer 24/7 professional support for how to get your ex husband back. Click on the image below to speak with one of our therapists.


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My Boyfriend Never Compliments Me

I think I Am Hot But My Boyfriend Might Not. My Boyfriend Never Compliments me.

Self-esteem is always a tricky thing to control no matter who you are. Whether it is regarding your looks, abilities, or any aspect within your life, trying to keep a positive concept of yourself is a challenge. It can be doubly difficult when the lack of confidence (take our self-esteem test) you are feeling is because of a lack of noted appreciation or interest from your man. Unfortunately, I hear far too often the statement, “my boyfriend never compliments me”. 🙁

If you are like many women, then there is a chance that while the image of yourself may be healthy, you are concerned that your partner is not as interested as he used to be. Perhaps you have been considerable time and effort in attempting to better your look and figure, but he just does not seem to notice. Trying to figure out why he seems uninterested can be a frustrating and embarrassing task, but keeping in mind a few key points may help.

Men Are Not Detail Oriented

my boyfriend never compliments me
my boyfriend never compliments me

This could be the reason when you feel, “my boyfriend never compliments me”. Remember that small changes that you make to yourself may be completely overlooked by your man. It is not because he is not smart enough to notice. It is not because he does not care.

He simply does not pay attention to the smaller details that you do. Big changes like moving a table to another side of a room may catch his attention. However, moving a painting three feet from its original position may totally pass him by.

This same principle can be applied to your look and figure as well. Again, it is not because he is a bad guy or is too stupid to notice, he simply does not notice. On the plus side, he is much less likely to notice a change for the worse as well. One should not take advantage of that fact, but it is good to know anyway.

Men Have a Different Focus

Even men who are detail-oriented may not notice the efforts you make for an aesthetic alteration. Men tend not to notice assemble or color-based changes unless it is a blatant one that is thrown in their face. Furthermore, men often do not note the significance of certain things that are improved.

Just because your man does not consciously notice that you are looking hot does not mean that it is completely lost on him. Sometimes your man simply has his focus elsewhere and the changes or efforts you are putting him are “under the board” to him. Getting concerned or upset with him about that will not do you any good. When it is a forgivable oversight, do just that and forgive him for simply not being as focused on your improvement as you are.

Men Don’t Always Say What They Think

It is also wholly possible that your man both noticed and appreciates the changes you are making, but simply does not say anything. There are usually two reasons for this line of thinking from the man. The first reason is that he is simply not the kind of person that gives words of encouragement, at least not overtly.

It is quite common that men in particular upbringings are taught to not verbally acknowledge someone is positive or negative progress, and instead to simply let people do as they do without much talk about it. While this may seem like an alien concept to some of us, it is simply a style of moral upbringing and one simply has to accept that fact if that is how their man is.

The second reason he may not say anything about your improvements (or continuation on your general beauty) is that, to be blunt, women can be a bit bity and confusing when given a compliment. We all know a woman who, when complimented with “Wow, you look so thin now.” Will respond by saying “What? Are you saying I was fat before?” Remember that men are sometimes not the best at verbalizing what it is they are thinking. It is not out of the ordinary for a man to be afraid to say something nice as it embarrasses or scares him.

Something is on His Mind

Believe it or not, men have lives outside of what it is you look like. Sometimes work, friends, family, or a million other items in life are distracting him from really taking notice of your general good looks or physical improvement. No offense intended, but this could be you feel that my boyfriend never compliments me. Instead of worrying so much about why he is not taking proper notation of you, ask yourself why he might be elsewhere in his mind. It is important to keep in mind that most men tend not to talk about their problems at first.

Giving him a sympathetic ear to talk to can help him open up. Once they are able to open up more freely (because they feel comfortable enough to talk) then they are more likely to take notice of all you have to offer both as a partner and in the looks department.

Ask Your Man If He’s Noticed!

If it is really concerning you that your man is not noticing how good you look, or you are worried that his interest is waning, why not just ask him about it? Sitting around wondering why he is not as interested in you as you are is a little odd. If he is your boyfriend or partner and you feel it is something that needs to be talked about, then do so.

Just keep in mind that he may not understand why you are making a big deal about it. He most certainly is unlikely to come out and say he thinks you do not look as good as you think you do; but if he is feeling a lack of interest for some reason perhaps he will divulge the information just a bit.

If you are feeling like your man is not taking notice, keep in mind a few of these possibilities. You should feel good about keeping yourself looking beautiful. Remember, however, that just because he is not giving you the signs you need to know you are looking good does not mean he does’t think it.

If you feel you need more advice on the subject we have relationship therapists who can help. Click on the image below to reach someone.


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Dating Over 50… Priceless

Dating over 50 is Golden

Do you want someone to share this incredible time of your life? Enter the world of dating over 50. If you’ve been away from the dating scene for decades, you’ve likely already come to the conclusion that dating in this phase of your life is a LOT different than it was in your past.

You might even be having the feeling of being back in high school, again, but without knowing what the rules and conventions are.

Dating over 50 can often present the following obstacles:

Limited Access to Singles

Long gone are the spontaneous days of running across the street to the bar with some pals for last call at midnight. Well, maybe you could walk across the street for a drink if you really wanted, but probably the late night running and the last call are out. (Chances are you now have adult children who are running to make those last calls!) Also gone are the days of having lots of single friends who hosted parties or who all joined together in group social outings. With limited access to other singles, finding a suitable mate may require a little more creativity when you are dating over 50.

Where Are All the Single Men?

As you’ve likely discovered by now, there seem to be more single women dating over 50 than there are single men. Statistically speaking, women do seem to have the blessing (and the curse?) of outliving men. As a result, with every year that passes, there are fewer men for every woman. But, this trend might not be a significant as one might think.

Nearly 50 million singles are over the age of 40. 50% of those singles are women.

Online Dating? Do I Really Have to Learn How to Do This?

Online dating is no longer for the younger generations of singles. Savvy singles in the over 50 dating category are now turning to the online dating world in droves. Yes, there is a learning curve involved to succeed with this dating format. But, it can be well worth your time as many 50+ singles report great successes with this approach to dating.

So what are some steps you can take that can help you succeed as a 50+ dater (also commonly referred to as a “senior dater”):
Be flexible. Like you, the men you will be dating have also had long, full lives. They’ve had their fair share of bumps, compromises, setbacks, and wins. They are not at all the simple prince charming you naively envisioned in your 20’s. Rather, they are just men who are doing their best in the world. See them for all that they are inside. Accept that there may be some differences. Be willing to adjust old expectations within reason.

Be healthy. Whether it’s in habits or diet, moderation is best. Exercise to stay in shape and look your best. By looking your best, you feel confident, too. Confidence is a plus to attracting and keeping a mate.

Stay Active. If you have children or grandchildren that live nearby, staying active is probably laughable. You may be wishing for some down time! Remember to take time for your interests, too. If you have hobbies or participate in clubs, it keeps your mind sharp and keeps you connected to a community. As a bonus, these places can often be great places to meet men who share your interests.

Be financially responsible. Have your finances in order to take care of yourself. It’s never an enviable position to search for a mate because you need one to help pay the bills. You don’t have to be rich. It’s more about living within your means. If you can take care of yourself, you can be selective and not hurry in choosing a partner.

Present yourself well. This applies at any age…but is especially important for women who are dating over 50 (and even dating over 40). Use great hygiene in your personal care. Take a few extra pains when dressing to go out, especially if you are meeting someone for the first time. Dating over 50 doesn’t mean you have to knock yourself out trying to look great. It’s really about looking “together”, and coming across as the wise, wonderful, thoughtful woman that you are. First impressions last forever, and you always want them to be good.

Dating over 50, or senior dating, has its challenges, but also its rewards. You aren’t looking for someone to father anymore children, fertility no longer matters, and family pressures to marry him probably aren’t strong. Dating over 50 can be fun, maybe even more fun than it was when you were younger. The time really is ripe for success and significant enjoyment. Many of my ‘over 50’ clients and friends who are single and dating will often speak of the deep joys they are experiencing with the men they are seeing. They will tell you that dating over 50 is truly priceless.

Go out and find the man of your “Golden” dreams. If you are in your 40’s check out our dating over 40 section.


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Overcoming Past Relationship Emotional Baggage

Letting Go of Emotional Baggage

Are you giving up on love as a single seeking your ideal partner? Often we fail to recognize the lessons a relationship provides for us, and the opportunity it gives for us to grow. There are times when you can no longer hang onto a relationship and that you finally realize you and your partner are no longer an appropriate match. But when all is said and done, what are the lessons and how do you get rid of all of your emotional baggage?

If you don’t get the lessons you tend do the same dance all over again, but this time with a different partner. To get the lessons from an unsuccessful relationship choose to see how much had to do with you and how much had to do with your partner. It works to your benefit to own 50% of the relationship collapse. You can only do something about your 50%, but if you don’t own your part, you tend to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again – until you finally get the message.

Your 50% might be as simple as some of the following:

  1. Not having clear boundaries and setting expectations to have your partner honor them.
  2. Not being clear with your needs going into a relationship.
  3. Not knowing what creates you to thrive in a day-to-day loving relationship.
  4. Not getting necessary information from your potential partner to see if he or she is capable and willing to meet your needs.
  5. Not asking for what you desired from your partner.
  6. Not being open and honest with your partner.
  7. Choosing defensive statements instead of empathic statements, when your partner expressed his or her thoughts and feelings.

To keep your heart open to love, it does not serve you to blame your past partner’s for not loving you or doing their part in creating the relationship to be successful. Yes, it always takes two to be in a romantic relationship. And also remember it takes two to fight, two to make love and two to create the success or neglect of the relationship. So, no matter who was wrong, who said what, who did what or didn’t do – the important thing is what role did you play, because that’s the part you can do something about. Holding onto your anger and resentment only hurts you – not your past partner. This is all part of forgiveness and understanding your emotional baggage and how to let go of it.

When a relationship ends, don’t pack up your past mistakes and grievances and carry it into to your next relationship. By doing so you’re closing your heart, and also hanging onto your fear that it will happen all over again.

Instead choose to:

  1. Let go of the hurt, anger, resentment, disappointment and revenge.
  2. Honestly own how your participation and the role you played did not work for the highest good of the relationship.
  3. Recognize how you could or would not meet your partner’s needs and desires.
  4. Decide what you are going to do different to create the success of your upcoming relationship.
  5. Honor the gifts that came from the previous relationship’s.
  6. Accept the lessons and be grateful for the experience.
  7. Bless your past partner/s and release them to their greatest good.
  8. Then get clear on what your needs are in a relationship, so you’re able to choose an ideal partner that you can both meet each other’s desires.

It may be deciding to find a person that is more like you, who has similar personality, desires, needs, characteristics, and values as you do. Don’t expect someone to be who they are not, just because there is great chemistry and physical attraction, or because he or she can take care of you in away that you can’t take care of yourself. Don’t expect someone to be or do what you cannot be or do for yourself.

Keep your heart open for love, it could be right around the corner and you certainly don’t want love to pass you by. Leave your emotional baggage at the door! Keep your eye out for more relationship tips or check out section on how to save a relationship


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