Signs That You Should Break Up; Be prepared
Knowing the signs of when a break up is your best option can be difficult to accept. However, there are telltale instances that you should be able to pick up on and act on confidently. No one should give up on a relationship too easily, and it is often best to think deeply about if the trigger should be pulled on the relationship. If you an already convinced that your relationship is over, learn the ways to leave it.
That said, there is no need to stay in a relationship that has within it obvious signs that there is no way the partnership can work. Nobody benefits form a relationship that has no future. In fact, staying it in hinders both you and your current partner from growing as individuals in positive relationships elsewhere. With that in mind, let’s being with some obvious signs of a dead relationship.
A relationship that consists of either partner being physically harmed is reason for an immediate end to this relationship. While some people cannot phantom the idea of allowing someone to abuse them, countless individuals around the world allow themselves to be subject to abuse.
Sometimes the person feels the abuse is their fault or that they have no other options. If you are one of these individuals, speaking with an agency or professional in relationship counseling can give you the sympathetic ear and resources to make your way out of the relationship with the least amount of trouble. Physical abuse is one of the definite signs that you should break up. For more information go here.
Though it is often a much more subtle form of abuse, emotional and psychological abuse should never be tolerated by an individual. Sometimes these types of abuse are very subtle and might just need to be talked over. However, if there is obvious and consistent direct verbal abuse or threats of abuse, then you should again direct yourself to a professional or agency that can give you the help you need.
Just because someone does not strike you, or claims that they do not mean it when they put you down, threaten you, or are consistently condescending, does not mean it does not constitute abuse. Your mental and emotional wellbeing is as important as your physical wellbeing and so avoiding relationships that damage them is your right.
With those most obvious reasons out of the way, we can now move on to reasons that are less detrimental to your health, but are also clear reasons to call it quits in a relationship. Really any form of abuse is one of the definite signs that you should break up.
You Are Incompatible
While many cultures love the concept of “opposites attract” it is often not the case that people who are fundamentally different can sustain a long-lasting relationship. This could be one of the signs that you should break up. Often the differences in lifestyle and life’s goals cause a rift between the two couples that cannot be overcome. While initial passion may come from finding someone very different, not having anything in common with a person will deteriorate a relationship over time.
He/She Is Holding You Back
If you are unable to peruse your goals and wants in life, there are compromises that can be made in order to sustain a relationship. However, a point where one must come to terms with a partner who simply is holding them back from achieving their goals.
If you have a promising school or job opportunities and your partner is quite literally the only thing holding you back, it may be time to consider ending the relationship. Being willing to sacrifice for a relationship is important but it must be a two-way street. Letting someone constantly be the barrier to your successes is not a healthy cornerstone to a relationship.
When He/She Is Not Available
A relationship should not subsist of two wholly independent persons. While both must have their own lives, there must be a common life, goal, and aspirations by both persons. If your partner isn’t there for you either by physically being absent too often, or by not being a sympathetic ear and shoulder to cry on, the partner is not fulfilling her/her duties.
Again, communication can help smaller instances of this, but a systematic lack of caring is likely a sign the relationship is going nowhere.
When The Relationship Doesn’t Progress
Relationships, just like people, should grow. When we mature as individuals and as couples, the relationship should reach new stages also. If your partner is unable to reach new levels of maturity with you, or is unable to express basic abilities to grow, then the relationship is likely to not succeed.
Examples are when someone is unwilling to change absolutely anything about their lifestyle or personality, or when your partner is unable to say “I love you” after months or years of a relationship. Commitment issues aside, the general inability to express a progress in the level of caring should give you an indication the person is unwilling or unable to grow. As we evolve as persons, so too must our partners and the relationship we partake with them.
The Same Problems Persist
Certain things about our partners will never change. Many older couples still have some of the same arguments again and again (see dating over 40 for help with this). However, if there are larger problems that continue to occur throughout a relationship, you should find a way out as soon as you notice.
A partner who continually lies, steals, cheats, or is unreliable should not be tolerated after a certain period of time. It is up to each of us to decide when enough is enough. It is often best to allow your partner to know that at some point the consistent lying, cheating, stealing, and so on, will no longer be tolerated. Hopefully, this will spur them into action. If it does not, then you know you did what you could to make it work.
No matter the reasons, there can sometimes come a point where a relationship may need to end. Being communicative and honest about the problems that may lead to this end are important. It allows both parties to be heard and gives you and your partner an opportunity to perhaps find a way around a break up. It may also avoid weeks, months, or years of a broken relationship being dragged on. And it if must end, at least you both will know that you took the necessary steps and can avoid an ill-fated second attempt in the future. If you need relationship advice, download our app to speak with our therapists.