The Best Tips On Making A Long-Distance Relationship Work

Couples find themselves in long-distance relationships for many different reasons, but they are not always easy to maintain. No matter how good your intentions may be, it’s difficult to stay intimate and romantic when you live in separate time zones.

The good news is, there are many things you and your partner can do to keep the romance alive no matter how far apart you may be. The key is to commit yourselves to the plan and keep communication open no matter what. Here are some of the best tips for keeping your bond strong.

Get physical

One of the easiest ways to retain intimacy when you and your loved one are apart is to exchange physical items that can be touched, tasted, or smelled. A favorite soft t-shirt sprayed with perfume or cologne, a box of chocolates from the last city you were both in together; these things work to keep the senses involved and may help when you miss your significant other more so than photographs will.

Get technology involved

Nowadays, there’s no excuse for going days or weeks without seeing your loved one in some form. With Skype, you can video chat with one another at the end of a long day and “share” a glass of wine. Chrome extensions like Showgoers will let you both watch the same show in real time and interact, so you can talk about what you’re watching. Pick a show you think you’ll both like and choose a date night when you can watch together.

Don’t play games

Understand that both of you are putting in the work to make the relationship as strong as possible; don’t keep count of how many times one of you calls the other or drives for a visit. As long as both of you keep communication open, those little disagreements can be averted.

Take vacations together…

It’s important to find ways to relax together when you’re face to face; your relationship is most likely under some strain already, so talk about places you’d both like to visit and start saving for a trip. Making those memories together will certainly strengthen your bond.

…But do everyday things, too

When you are able to visit one another, do mundane things together like grocery shopping or dog walking. It’s important that you both understand how the other lives their everyday life so you can work on being an everyday couple.

Take the pressure off

Sometimes it may seem like friends and family who don’t understand the long-distance relationship are just waiting for you to fail. There can be quite a bit of pressure to measure up to a preconceived notion of what a relationship is, so it’s important to break free of those constraints once in awhile. Check your seriousness at the door and invite your loved one to play a video game online with you, or use Snapchat filters to send silly messages to one another.

Keeping things open and honest is, of course, essential to maintaining a long-distance relationship going. Avoid temptation and build up the trust, because without it, your foundation will crumble.

Fitness nerd Paige Johnson has a passion for strength training, yoga, and weightlifting. She also loves cycling and hiking with her dogs, who she likes to think of as her children. You can find her at LearnFit.org.

Astrology And Relationships – Get A Leg Up

Astrology And Relationships

We have all had disappointing relationships that have many times ended very painfully. While we may not want to give up on dating altogether, most of us wouldn’t say no to anything that may give us a leg up on our existing or next relationship. That may well be why so many people try to find out the correlation between Astrology and Relationships.

There is a lot of material available that ties Astrology and Relationships together. For the most part each person has characteristics based on their unique astrological sign. Finding out what their traits are and what your traits are and then seeing if the two of you will be compatible is the basis for this whole idea.

Truthfully, I think the idea has merit, at least as far as the compatibility idea goes. I’m not sure it has a lot to do with your individual astrological signs, but we do see couples all the time who seem to have it all and get along wonderfully.

In my opinion, whether you believe in astrology or not, the best way to ensure that a relationship will be a healthy one and will make both of you happy for the long term, is to make sure you are both compatible.

To get more into the astrological side of things, all you need to do is take some time to learn more about your astrological sign and see what traits you are likely to have. Compare what traits you are supposed to have with what traits you really do have.

Once you know “who you are” you can then find out what sign your honey is and find out what traits they have based on their sign. Again, it’s a good idea to compare the traits that they are “supposed” to have with the traits you know they have.

After that point all you need to do is to determine the likelihood that the two of you have enough in common to get a long and have a healthy relationship.

If you and your would be partner don’t have a lot of common or overlapping traits you have two choices: you can either forget about the relationship and move on, or you can find out if the two of you might be able, and willing, to compromise and meet in the middle.

If you are both willing to do that you may have the foundation for a fantastic relationship. But, make sure that each of you will really do what they say they will and meet in the middle. It won’t work well if both of you say you are willing to do this but only one of you actually does.

That scenario can lead to resentment and frustration on the part of the one who is doing the compromising. Also, if you each only have to move a little bit to make things work and you are both willing to work on it, you may be able to make things work. But if it will require a lot of compromise it may just end up being more work than you are willing to put in over the long term.

There is a lot more written about Astrology and Relationships if you want to learn more. Having this inside information may make it possible for you to have a wonderful and fulfilling relationship.


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Tips for Marriage – Are You Compatible?

Hope is not a plan. Tips for Marriage – Are You Compatible?

How many times have you dated someone and you weren’t compatible? Or you were compatible in some ways and not in others? As you know being compatible is important or else all you do is disagree, argue and complain. And who wants to be spend their life doing that? Nobody! It seems then the ‘are you compatible’ question is a valid one. Naturally, there are levels of compatibility to consider; some things are more important than others. For example, if you don’t agree on whether you both like bike riding, this won’t make or break the relationship. On the other hand, if one of you wants children and the other doesn’t, this will definitely be a make it or break it issue.

As you can see the level of the compatibility issue is what you need to look at. How important is it? Another area that most people should agree on is religion. If both of you are Christians then there’s no problem; however, if one person is into devil worship and the other worships Christ there’s going to be a big problem. Even small differences in spirituality can create some pretty big gaps in a relationship.

Some other areas of concern are finances, communication, goals, lifestyle, friends, and family to name a few. These areas all need to be worked out BEFORE you get married so that you don’t end up divorced like the other 50% of Americans do. If you’re not compatible on big issues then it may not be wise to marry that person. However, if they’re insignificant and can be worked out then that’s a different story. After all, marriage is supposed to last a lifetime so it would make sense to have a really good idea of what’s acceptable to you in the relationship and what isn’t.

One of the major problems is that couples fall in lust and not love and this usually doesn’t work, due to decisions being made that are mostly based on feelings or emotion and not logic. They do not think things through or use wisdom and consequently have serious problems down the road. Problems that sometimes lead to destruction of the family and end in hatred for one another.  For this reason, you need to make sure you’re compatible in other ways than just physical attraction.

One of the best ways to make sure of this is to take your time and not rush into marriage. There’s nothing wrong with a long engagement.  Without a doubt, it’s much easier to break off an engagement than to get a divorce. After all, if it’s real love you won’t mind the wait, one of the characteristics of love is patience. Finally, if one of you is in a hurry that’s a sign you really need to wait.


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Tips for Marriage – Christian Marriage Advice

Christian Marriage Advice & Where To Get It

Who do you get Christian marriage advice from? All Christians should know the answer to this question, but for the ones who don’t know, the answer is ‘God’. Then you may ask, ‘How do I get answers from God?’ The answer to that is simple; from His Word, the Holy Bible. The Bible not only has all the answers it has the RIGHT answers. Many people today say the Bible isn’t relevant in this day and age, but when they say that what they really mean is that they never read it, or if they did, they didn’t  understand it. To understand God’s Word you need to study the Holy Scriptures and make an effort to know God on a more personal level.

This brings up yet another question, ” How do I know God on a personal level?” The answer to that is simple; you spend time with Him. This is the single most important thing you can do in a  Christian marriage is spend time with God.  Both of you should have your own personal relationship with God so that He can guide you in the right direction. This is the only way for you to have a marriage that is in right standing with God. Consequently, your marriage will be the best it can be.

Another person who is qualified to give advice in a Christian marriage is your pastor. For example, let’s say you don’t have a personal relationship with Christ YET and you don’t really read the Bible either, but you consider yourself a Christian. In this case you may need a real live person that you can actually talk to and meet with to give you advice. That person should be your pastor. After all, your pastor is ordained by God and one of his duties is to care for his church members and help them in time of need.

And yet another scenario is you’re a Christian, but don’t have a home church. In other words, you’ve been going to several churches with family or friends and can’t decide where to go for guidance or help. The best thing you can do then is choose a pastor even though you may not know them very well, and trust that God will take care of the situation.  Of course, this will require you take a step of faith. One other solution could be to select a family member or friend that you know has a strong personal relationship with the Lord and speak with them about your marriage issues.

Indeed, when it comes to  Christian marriage advice it’s vital that you seek proper guidance. No doubt, it should come from God Himself or His Word. However, when that isn’t possible you need to find the next best thing and that is a man or woman, who knows Him and wants what is best for you and your marriage, someone whom you can trust. Whatever you do don’t allow your marriage to suffer; pursue godly counsel.


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Threesomes – Is it fair?

Threesomes

Dear Clarapy,

Hi Clarapy,
Well, I know that my best friend is in a one sided swinging relationship. She can see all the women she wants (basically have all the threesomes) but he can’t have anyone else. He’s very heterosexual, so being bi doesn’t work for him. Well, about a year back he and I started flirting and built into an affair. Now, some of the old attractions I’ve had with my best friend are coming back and I’m starting to wonder about a three some. I brought up the subject to a very removed friend and he was worried that I might end up as a sex toy. But a couple concerns I have is that seeing her have sex with him would create a resentment from me since I like to see him as mine during my intimate time. Also, I’m kinda worried that she might realize that he and I have already been having sex if there was a threesome. so, I guess I have a series of questions…

1. Is it fair/ ok/ healthy/ likely to succeed if their relationship stays the way it is of her swinging and him monogamous?
2. Is it likely or possible that his motive is to make me into a sex toy?
3. Should I even be considering a threesome, given the circumstances above and that haven’t revealed my feelings to her?
4. Is what I’m doing malicious?
5. Are you considering a page for mistresses and affairs?

Dear Julia,

1.  Probably somewhere down the line he may resent her swinging.  If he is monogamous by his own choice that is ok but he may eventually be jealous.  It is best if both of them are swinging and not jealous.

2.  Maybe, but do you really care?  Just do what you want.

3.  Honesty is always the best policy.  Be open and talk with them.

4.  I am not here to judge anyone and as long as you are adults and don’t hurt anyone, it’s your business.

5.  As it states in our community chat room, I am here to give love and sex advice which would include mistresses and affairs.

Sincerely,

Clarapy


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Remarriage And When is it Time?

Remarriage – When is it Time?

Remarriage requires a lot of forethought.  After all, you don’t want the same thing to happen all over again. Why bother to remarry if you’re just going to end up divorced again? Time is a key factor and is different for everyone. It all depends on the baggage leftover from the previous marriage. Have you resolved your issues?

After a marriage both parties have issues, some worse than others. The person who works on their issues and resolves them is one who will be ready to remarry sooner.

If you’re not capable of having a healthy relationship remarriage should be the last thing on your mind. You have to fix YOU first! Otherwise you do the same thing over and over.

People also choose the wrong kind of people over and over again. They have a different name and face, but the same messed up behaviors. This kind of thing can go on for a lifetime if nothing is done to stop it. It becomes one drama after the next.

The reason it happens is not getting to the root of the problem and confronting it head on. For example, a woman who keeps getting into relationships with alcoholic abusive men will continue to repeat the pattern because of her co-dependency enabling issues.

If both parties had an unstable relationship that had a lot of drama in their previous marriage then premarital counseling should be considered. It’s also possible that people may be in denial that there are no issues to take care of when in reality there are.

A therapist will be able to discover the truth, but only if both parties are honest. If you’re lying to the therapist this is a strong sign you’re not ready for remarriage.

I have been there and done that. My ex sat there and blatantly lied to the lady who was our therapist. Sorry to say, at the time I didn’t handle it too well. I jumped up and pointed at him and yelled, ” You’re lying you blank blank. ” you fill it in the blanks.

It would have been better if I would have done it differently, but you get the idea. Lying will never resolve anything, in fact, it makes matters worse.

Indeed, we did split up for good not long after that. However, I believe that if he would have been honest and willing to face his issues we just might have made it work.

The way you will know if it’s time for remarriage is when you and your partner are both willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. And that’s no lie!


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Marriage And Children Why Not?

Caution: Marriage And Children

Marriage and children is something a couple should discuss BEFORE they get married. This is a major decision so it must be made very clear between both parties. Otherwise, if one or the other goes into marriage thinking they’re going to have a big family, some day it may end in divorce. There’s no maybe on this one so you need to be sure.

Some think marriage and children go hand in hand, especially Christians, this is because the Bible says to be fruitful and multiply it also states that children are a gift and a blessing from God. Others, well, they make decisions based on their priorities.

For example, look at the reasons couples have who don’t want children:

1. Career – Having children will keep them from climbing the corporate ladder.

2. Money – Kids cost money and lots of it.

3. Peace – Let’s face it, kids are noisy and there’s no quiet to be had if you have them.

4. Travel – No, you just can’t pack up and leave when you have kids.

5. Personal time – No time for themselves or alone time with their spouse.

6. Freedom – They fear losing freedom to do what they want when they want.

7. Responsibility – Kids are a HUGE responsibility they don’t want.

There are more, but these are the big ones. If you aren’t married, but thinking about it, then you need to think long and hard on the topic of marriage and children then discuss it with your fiance. Be certain when you make a decision that you will not change your mind or else there could be serious problems in the marriage. If you want more advice on this topic join our community chat room and speak with our experts.


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Online Relationships & What They Mean

Online Relationships

Online relationships are becoming more popular as time goes on. The reason being is that it’s so easy to meet someone online. Just about everyone has a computer and there are multiple sites geared toward singles looking for a partner or spouse.

You may be one of those people who date online or maybe even married someone you met on the internet in a chat room and are living happily ever after.

Online relationships are different in the sense that you can’t touch or see the person. You can speak with them by phone which is recommended before you actually meet them in person. In fact, it’s a good idea to talk with them several times before meeting. This is also a way of maintain a long distance relationship.

While online relationships are fun and exciting they can also be dangerous. This is the bad part,  you never really know a person until you spend time with them. Therefore, you need to keep your guard up and not give out personal information.

People also use online relationships to avoid commitment. After all, there can’t be a commitment if all you do is send emails and hang out in chat rooms. The fear of commitment people are all over the web starting up relationships they have no intention of taking all the way. Beware of this type and don’t waste time on them.

Just in case one of your online relationships does become a real love connection always tell the truth (see section on why men lie for more insight) especially with your emotions. It is tempting to lie, since you think they will never know, but it can come back to bite you in the butt and ruin what could have been a good thing.

You never know what will happen, so adhere to the side of honesty, be careful and don’t allow emotions to overrule your logical mind. If it sounds too good to be true it usually is.

Online relationships can be a great way to meet friends, make love connections, network and open doors of opportunity in many areas of life. That said, do your due diligence,  proceed with caution and have fun.


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Flirting Signs – Is Your Spouse Flirting?

Flirting Signs And Does Your Spouse Have Them?

What are flirting signs? How do you know if your spouse is just being friendly or flirting? After you read this you will know what to look for and what is REALLY going on.

Sometimes it’s hard to read a person’s body language, but if you pay close attention and know what to look for then it’s easier. Flirting signs can be obvious or not so obvious so you need an eye for detail, especially if they’re trying to not get caught.

Here’s a list of some obvious and not so obvious flirting signs:

  • Saying their name frequently in conversation.
  • Complimenting them a little too much.
  • Asking personal questions.
  • Touching their body or hair.
  • Catering to their wants or needs.
  • Being as close to them as possible.
  • Laughing at their remarks when it isn’t funny.
  • Frequent eye contact and looking them up and down.

To add to this women and men have different flirting signs. The men tend to be more bold and aggressive, especially when drinking. They actually stare intently and try to get the woman alone somehow. So, they are easier to catch.

The women, however, are more subtle and do things like playing with their hair and tossing their head, glancing out of the side of their eyes and rubbing their body slowly to attract his attention to that particular area. They also lean in to try and brush up against them, ever so softly, as to not get noticed.

These flirting signs will be sure to show up if your spouse is indeed flirting all you need to do is watch and listen. It’s best if you’re not obvious and pretend you’re distracted doing something else then they will let their guard down for sure.

Once you are pretty sure the flirting signs are for real then you need to have a heart to heart talk about the matter. That’s right, confrontation! However, wait until you’re calm, not nagging about it and not angry so that you can discuss it in a rational manner. Let them know flirting is unacceptable to you and that they need to stop doing it.

Flirting doesn’t necessarily mean they have intentions of cheating (see signs you should break up), in fact, many do it just to feed their ego or to get attention, but that doesn’t make it right.


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Rebound Relationships & Said Cliché

Rebound Relationships. Is This Basketball?

What are rebound relationships? What does being on the rebound mean? It means that you are fresh out of a relationship that just ended and that you may be desperate to have another one to replace the one you just lost. When it comes to marriage it means you just got separated and are possibly thinking of divorce.

Whether married or divorced rebound relationships are to be avoided! There is no way that anyone is ready for another relationship when they just got out of one.

For one thing you will bring baggage with you. This does not work for any length of time. You may be able to fake it for a little while, but it will resurface in the next relationship if not dealt with and this pattern will continue forever if you allow it.

Another problem is that you can transfer feelings for one person to another. Then you feel as though you love a person you just met and this isn’t possible,  at least not in reality.

The best thing to do is not get into rebound relationships at all. You do this by focusing on what you need to do to make yourself available for a healthy relationship. Focus on YOU! Not the ex or a new love interest.

You may need to chat with a counselor or join a 12 step group like Codependents Anonymous that will help you to stop old behaviors and patterns that are not healthy.

It’s also a good idea to stay busy with career, hobbies, friends, health or anything that is productive and prepares you for a better future.

If you’re married, but separated the last thing you need is a rebound relationship. Do what is mentioned above then maybe after you have gotten your life in order you will be an asset to the marriage and can work things out with your spouse.

Most people want a marriage to work out. After all, no matter who you marry there will be differences, maybe not the same ones, but you will have to deal with something.

Therefore, since you’ve committed time and effort into the one you’re in why not work on it? In other words, work on the one you have instead of starting all over again.

To summarize, forget rebound relationships they are a huge mistake and a waste of time if you are actually trying to salvage your relationship or marriage.


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