Remarriage – When is it Time?
Remarriage requires a lot of forethought. After all, you don’t want the same thing to happen all over again. Why bother to remarry if you’re just going to end up divorced again? Time is a key factor and is different for everyone. It all depends on the baggage leftover from the previous marriage. Have you resolved your issues?
After a marriage both parties have issues, some worse than others. The person who works on their issues and resolves them is one who will be ready to remarry sooner.
If you’re not capable of having a healthy relationship remarriage should be the last thing on your mind. You have to fix YOU first! Otherwise you do the same thing over and over.
People also choose the wrong kind of people over and over again. They have a different name and face, but the same messed up behaviors. This kind of thing can go on for a lifetime if nothing is done to stop it. It becomes one drama after the next.
The reason it happens is not getting to the root of the problem and confronting it head on. For example, a woman who keeps getting into relationships with alcoholic abusive men will continue to repeat the pattern because of her co-dependency enabling issues.
If both parties had an unstable relationship that had a lot of drama in their previous marriage then premarital counseling should be considered. It’s also possible that people may be in denial that there are no issues to take care of when in reality there are.
A therapist will be able to discover the truth, but only if both parties are honest. If you’re lying to the therapist this is a strong sign you’re not ready for remarriage.
I have been there and done that. My ex sat there and blatantly lied to the lady who was our therapist. Sorry to say, at the time I didn’t handle it too well. I jumped up and pointed at him and yelled, ” You’re lying you blank blank. ” you fill it in the blanks.
It would have been better if I would have done it differently, but you get the idea. Lying will never resolve anything, in fact, it makes matters worse.
Indeed, we did split up for good not long after that. However, I believe that if he would have been honest and willing to face his issues we just might have made it work.
The way you will know if it’s time for remarriage is when you and your partner are both willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. And that’s no lie!