Success at Dating Over 40
You are thoroughly past your crazy 20’s and all the indecision and life path shifts that accompany that stage. You’ve made it through the early career building years of your 30’s where you had to put your nose to the grindstone to get ahead. And, if you already have children, you are done with the majority of sleepless nights and exhaustion that come in the first two years of childrearing. Add to this that you likely already have a good house, a few good friends, and a nice collection of material things. Most importantly, you have likely been developing a pretty good idea of what you are looking for this time around. In other words, the 40’s are a place where you can get into a stride and move into your groove. To me, this is a superb time of life to re-enter the dating world.
Now, you might be saying, “Hey, is this dating over 40 thing means that there are a lot less good guys to choose from.”
Okay. So? This still doesn’t mean that you can’t find someone great for you (especially if you are serious and want a relationship you should check out this for building a strong relationship).
Did You Know? The statistics on singles indicate that there are about 25 million single women over 40, and over 19 million single men in the same age group. That’s only 22% less men than women. Again, call me the optimist, but these numbers look pretty great for the dating over 40 group.
Now, you might add, “Well, because we are all so well-established in our lives at this point, isn’t it more difficult to accommodate and thrive with a new companion.”
That’s entirely up to you. Sure, we all get a lot more set in our ways. Sure, there are more areas where some flexibility and accommodation (his kids, her profession) are required. Like dating at any stage of life, dating over 40 comes with its easy sides and its not-so-easy sides.
Then you say, “But, it all just seems so overwhelming. I don’t know if I have the energy to do this dating over 40 thing.” Here’s something you should know. As we get older, we experience an increasing tendency to nest, to coast, and to have things be simpler. Your feelings are completely natural, AND they are the exact reason to get out there now.
If you’ve been resisting jumping into the dating over 40 effort, now is the time to bust through that inertia. Apply the old Nike slogan: “Just Do It!” I promise it will feel easier with time.
If your dating over 40 objectives include getting married, here are a handful of research tips on on over 40 dating:
- Keep yourself in shape – you don’t have to be a tri-athlete, just maintain some level of physical fitness. Men are looking for this.
- Stay active socially. John says you should be going out 2 to 3 times per week (with friends, on dates, or both)
- Look great. Grooming plays a key role in your attractiveness factor.
- Demonstrating acts of kindness toward others. Have you volunteered or done something nice for someone, lately?
- Applying social graces. These things seem to garner more notice as we get older.
- Maintain good financial health. No man wants to rescue you from your looming debt.
If you are following the above, you are increasing your likelihood of snagging a great single man (over 40, or younger if you prefer!).
Our therapist often frequently chat with clients who are over 40 and dating. Once they begin applying some of the thought processes and tips that come out of the coaching, they are claiming they are having the time of their lives and don’t want to to settle down just yet!
And, I say, “Hurrah!” For more preparation for your soon to be relationship check out our relationship tips section or you can install our app and speak with our coaches.