The Girl Next Door – Be Careful.

The Girl Next Door – Be Careful. Infidelity Beckons.

The girl next door is pretty. She is a good neighbor. She is easy to work with. You offer to help her every now and then. Your wife knows this but she trusts you to do the right thing.

girl next door
girl next door

Be careful how close you get while helping that girl next door. Infidelity may just be closer than you think.

Right now, stop and analyze your real intentions. Why are you so particular about helping this girl? Are you getting attracted to her more than is necessary?

You can help your neighbor as often as you wish. There is no harm in that. But as a married man you owe your wife 100% allegiance. Anything that will threaten your marriage must be dispatched with immediate effect. That also goes for any unwholesome or shady relationship outside your marriage.

Is this false alarm?

I assure you it’s not. Many men who fell to infidelity and started a secret affair didn’t initially plan to go that far. They simply wanted friendship. Friendship graduated into affection. Affection turned into holding, hugs, kisses, love making.

The truth is . . . you never know with women. A simple neighborly friendship with the girl next door can suddenly take a sharp bend and become a sizzling secret affair.

This is not a joke. There are countless real-life examples that prove me right.

Most infidelity cases start with a genuine desire to help.

For example, you have a pretty neighbor (she doesn’t have to be pretty to capture you) who needs help. She comes to you and you gladly offer to assist her.
She returns later to thank you and even presents a champagne to your wife to show her appreciation.

You become better neighbors. She visits occasionally. You find her interesting. You soon begin to see an exciting part of her you hadn’t noticed before.

You’re getting close. The girl next door is catching up with you.

Occasionally you stop by at her place to see how she is doing. After some time, your visits become more regular. You begin to notice how tender she is. Oh, she even has a better sense of humor than you imagined.

One day you catch yourself noticing more than you should.

You suddenly realize she has better curves than your wife. She’s slimmer and trendier. She has the physique of a model. She has everything a man needs in just the right place and in the right size.

Your wife . . . if only your wife was just as slime! . . . Or just as beautiful!

You’re going. In fact, you’re gone. The girl next door has sunk her hooks in you.

It’s time to stop. You know you should stop. But you rationalize it away by persuading your senses with the falsehood that you only want to help. What’s so wrong with helping out, you ask?

So you continue to help.

You walk into her house one day and you find the girl next door crying. She has emotional breakdown. Her fiance just broke up with her or she just lost her job. She cries long and hard. You console her but she refuses to be consoled.

You hold her to stop her crying. She holds you back for support. And you keep holding each other. And . . .

The rest is history.

You shouldn’t let yourself get this far. You risk losing everything you have if you do.

A man and a woman are like two oppositely charged magnet. When they are far apart, nothing happens. When they come too close, something snaps. This happens so fast that many people, male or female, crash before they realize it. That is the very reason extra marital affair is so rampart.

A married man should not desire any other woman. You should not work alone with any woman other than your wife. The atmosphere can easily get charged and you may lose your sense of morality.

If your female neighbor needs help, help her through your wife.

Make no mistake about it.

The girl next door is dangerous. No matter how beautiful and innocent she looks, she is poison to your life and your marriage.

Be careful. Infidelity beckons.

It’s your life, it’s your future. Do the right thing.


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Her Ex Is Texting, Does Her Ex Want Her Back?

Her Ex Is Texting, What to Do If Her Ex Wants Her Back?

Most girlfriends will likely keep in touch with at least their ex’s for one reason or another. The problem for you as a boyfriend or partner is that ex’s almost inevitably will wait for an opportunity to weasel their way back into her life. Ex’s are a bit like wolves that patiently wait just out of the edges of your vision, waiting for a sign of weakness or woundedness so they can take the opportunity to pounce.

Usually an ex will begin by texting or messaging your girlfriend or partner, testing the waters for how the relationship is going. Sooner or later it is likely to start opening to her that he misses her and wants to be with her again. How you handle these situations can be a tricky situation.

First Off, How Do You Know He Is Texting?

texting-girl

Hopefully she has told you that he is texting, or you know him socially and he mentioned that he talked to her. Otherwise, it is likely that you invaded her privacy and now you have a completely new problem on your hands. If you have crossed the boundary of invading privacy, you have set a precedent that is likely to lead down a difficult path. Hopefully you have instead come across this information by her own volition, and then you can avoid a tailspin into mistrust and hurt feelings.

Ask Her Why She’s Allow It To Continue

There is no reason that you cannot know why she is allowing him to continue to contact her. Remember that the goal of asking this question is not to be accusatory or cutting, but instead as to better understand her thinking when it comes to the situation. Perhaps he is a long-time friend as well as an ex, or a family friend that had briefly been dating her. It is also possible he had recently gone through a difficult separation and is simply acting out.

Quite often the problem can be a series of drunk texts or messages after a long night of drinking with buddies. Certainly it could be combination of some or all of these possible factors. If this is the case then you most definitely wasted plenty of energy being concerned about something that is more funny than harmful.

By asking without accusing, you allow her to show you her level of maturity in regards to the issue. You also open a line of communication that exposes your own maturity level. Nothing but positives can come from speaking openly and honestly with your partner rather than pointing a blaming them within a situation you do not know all the facts to.

Trust Her If She Says She’s Not Reciprocating

As a man, we are not as use to being hit on and pursued as our female companions. Women are more likely to be hit on and pursued in everyday situations and because of this they have learned how to read the situation and deal with it appropriately. Since you are in a relationship with her then you have to take the opportunity to trust that she knows what she is doing. Remember that just because the ex wants her back does not mean that she is sending him sweet nothings back. She may very well being telling him it is inappropriate, and you have to trust her actions within reason.

Let Her Know How It Makes You Feel

Be clear that the situation concerns you, and while you do not want to invade her privacy, you worry about her reciprocating his advances. You can then establish what you would like to happen. Know that you cannot control what the ex or she does, but you can request that she discontinue speaking with him if he is making inappropriate advances and trying to create a wedge between yourself and her. You can also request a timeline wherein you would like her discontinue the conversation if something does not change.

Speak Candidly And Peacefully With The Ex

man and women sharing moments

I cannot stress enough that violence should be avoided at all costs, even if he is violent in a confrontation. What violence brings is either injury, jail time, or both. While men often become delusional enough to assume it shows capability as a male, this is irrational.

Writing him an email, text, or confronting him in person should always be done with an understanding that he is a man just like you. He cared for a person you care about, and certainly you can understand and sympathize with that sentiment. Furthermore, you can appreciate what it is he is feeling, because you can imagine what it would be like to lose your current girlfriend (who is his ex).

This is your opportunity to impart to him that while you understand, you do not appreciate his advances and request that they cease. If he is unwilling, then you can be more firm with him, but again keeping in mind to avoid violence. While this can be a tense and somewhat surreal situation, remember that maturity is a key component of a successful relationship. You must hope that he can see that as a good man, you deserve your opportunity to create a strong relationship with your partner, and he is not welcome to interfere with such progress.

Last Note:

Whether or not you use these exact strategies is wholly up to you. However, I would hope most of us could agree that most other options only lead to trouble. Reacting without knowing all the facts can make you look foolish. Not trusting that she can handle the situation makes you look as if you believe she is incapable of controlling her own life. Pointing an accusing finger will only cause more trouble and push her away.


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The Head Down Generation – Is your Head Up?

Since the release of the first generation iPhone, you may notice people paying more attention to their cell phones and mobile devices than each other. Nicknamed, “The Head Down Generation” HDG for short, these 40 and below have augmented their realities with 1’s and 0’s. Tweets, FB updates and Tinder online reputations are more important then someone’s offline reputation. Don’t believe me? Post something scandalous on someones social media profile, but I digress.

As a mental health practitioner all of those years of education simply have not prepared you for reaching this demographic. You’ve got a Google Optimized SEO website, your listed on psychology today (plus a dozen other directories) and, you even have the social media feeds going, but your dead in the water when it comes to new customers.  Paradoxically, you can diagnose and treat illnesses with your eyes-wide shut, but when it comes to reaching the HDG’s you can’t reach them — their diagnosis ADHD. If only a digital analog of Ritalin, Adderall, and Dexedrine could be prescribed with a side of your CBT.

Rhetoric aside, have you ever considered augmenting your practice on their smart device? Because if you think about it, most people especially HDG’s turn to there smart devices for answers.  It’s possible to pair your expertise directly with their need for immediate answers because once their ADHD kicks in their attention is elsewhere. Clarapy is the mobile app that puts you in direct contact with the HDG when impulsivity strikes. They ask you a question over a chat interface and you answer. They are a highly qualified lead chasing you and instead of the other way around.

Okay, now you’re probably asking yourself, “okay that sounds great, but I’m NOT apart of the HDG and have no desire to be. How can I apply my expertise over chat?” The answer is you don’t. It’s kind of like calling your local auto mechanic shop and asking them about the hideous noise your car is making. Chatting with the mechanic is all about feeling them out while getting a little bit helpful of information. From your impression, you’ll decide whether or not you will take your car for service or to someone else.  Clarapy isn’t any different in this respect. If a prospective client wants your help, they can book a Telephone or Skype session with you by paying you directly via PayPal. Voila! you have a new client.

For more information about features and how Clarapy can serve you best, go here or you can email us at: john.hand@clarapy.com

We are also offering New Year discounts when you mention you COUPON CODE: M2016

Leaving an abusive relationship with help

Abusive relationship no more!

Leaving an abusive relationship is the best thing you can do. Sometimes what started out as love unfortunately turns into something else and one person becomes a victim. Sadly, the victim all to often feels somewhat responsible for what happened and tries to bear the abuse, leading to more heartache and making it harder to leave.

The first thing you must do is actually recognize that you are in an unhealthy relationship and realize that you must leave it. Some indicators of an abusive partner are criticism of your good qualities, habitual drinking or drug problems, mood swings, threatening behavior, and persistent lying. When your partner begins to show these signs, it’s a good indicator that you should think about leaving an abusive relationship.

After you have realize that you will be leaving an abusive relationship, start planning your departure. Begin to save up some cash and look for a job as well as a new place to live. Finding a full time job with benefits may be tough, but even a part time job will help and provide financial support as well as a chance to be promoted to a full time position. When looking for a place to live, make sure you can afford it and that you are satisfied with the school system if you have children.

Another important step in leaving an abusive relationship is consulting a lawyer if there is a need for divorce. Although the costs may be intimidating, finding a good lawyer that will fight for you is an important step in making a clean break. Also you should contact close friends and relatives to inform them about your decision and ask for support. Most likely, they will be glad that you are leaving an abusive relationship and support your decision or offer assistance.

If you are concerned that your partner may become aggressive or violent when they find out that you are leaving an abusive relationship, you may want to contact your local abused spouses shelter. They can help you stay safe until you can your feet back under you.

The hardest part about leaving an abusive relationship is actually making that decision. After you’ve made up your mind, it’s just a matter of planning and carrying out. You’ll feel empowered and free as you start your new life away from abuse. There is no justification for abusive behavior and you aren’t at fault. If you are in an abusive relationship, don’t torment yourself any longer and get out. For more information on leaving an abusive relationship, please visit the sites we’ve listed for you below.


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